Author: Diane Dewey

At the age of forty-seven, Diane Dewey, the author of Fixing the Fates: An Adoptee’s Story of Truth and Lies, who had long thought her biological parents both dead, received a letter from her father, Otto Habich, saying that he wanted to meet her. How she responds to the news, which her adoptee mother reveals to her on her adoptee father’s death, and the reluctance of her mother to reveal the truth about the situation, constitutes the start of this memoir.

The shocking truths that emerge from the web of lies and deceit in which Diane finds that she has been enmeshed all her life are enough to keep the reader glued to their seat. What she discovers about her biological mother is the most heart-wrenching of all: that she really didn’t care about her at all (“I had a new consciousness about my birth mother that dismantled every stereotype I had previously subscribed to about a woman who relinquished her child—she didn’t or couldn’t care.”) The vulnerability of the adoptee is very much exposed here—as if the underlying trauma of being separated from one’s biological parents is not enough, when the illusion with which many must live, that, in fact, they had not wished to part from one, but had been forced to by fate, is also dashed, the effect must be truly devastating. The emotional numbing that such disillusionment can cause is likely to last a lifetime. Here is where the resilience of the human spirit comes in, and where the strength of character shows. However, how the so-called ‘truth’ that she discovers about her mother is upturned comprises the entire backbone of the book and should serve as positive reinforcement for women everywhere.

The emotional deception of those whom one loves and trusts, and whom one longs to have return the same uplifting emotions, is so central to our being in this world that Fixing the Fates: An Adoptee’s Story of Truth and Lies is a work for the many, rather than for only fellow adoptees. Although at times the objective way in which much of the memoir is recounted leaves the reader desirous of a more animated and somewhat light-hearted approach in parts, overall the work is of such deep significance that one can forgive the minor flaws. For those who wish to unravel the truth about their own lives, Fixing the Fates could serve as a guide for how to go about undertaking just such an activity. If you are a seeker after the emotional truth in relationships, this work could well be just the one for you.