- A Conversation With Frankie Picasso author of Midlife Mojo: How to get through the midlife crisis and emerge as your true self
- A Conversation With Frankie Picasso author of Midlife Mojo: How to get through the midlife crisis and emerge as your true self
A Conversation With Frankie Picasso author of Midlife Mojo: How to get through the midlife crisis and emerge as your true self
Norm Goldman, B.A. LL.L, is the
Publisher & Editor of Bookpleasures, which he created in 2002.' Practicing law for over 35 years enabled Norm to transfer and apply to
book reviewing his many skills that he had perfected during his career in
the legal profession and as a result he became a prolific free lance
book reviewer & author interviewer. To read more about Norm Follow Here
Today, Norm Goldman Publisher &
Editor of Bookpleasures.com is pleased to have as our guest, Frankie
Picasso author of Midlife Mojo: How to get through the midlife crisis
and emerge as your true self. Frankie is known as the
“unstoppable coach” and she is a full time broadcaster, author,
speaker, and professional Certified Life, Business and Master Coach
Trainer. She also co-founded the Institute of Quantum Living and
Conscious Design and is a member of the International Coach
Federation, and the Canadian Association of Journalists.
Good day Frankie and thanks for participating in our interview.
What is a professional Certified Life, Business and Master Coach Trainer and how does do you become one?
That’s a great question Norm, thanks for asking it. Although, some folks who were former consultants jumped on the Coaching bandwagon and they didn’t have any formal training.
Life Coaching/Business Coaching is a
real profession that does have standards and prerequisite training as
set out by the International Coach Federation, aka the ICF, which is
the governing body for coaching Worldwide.
There are many schools dedicated to coaching curriculums throughout the World, but for those who do want to be Certified Professional Life Coaches, it is important that they attend a school that has been accredited and maintains the standards as set out through the ICF.
I went to one such school and not only became Certified in Life Coaching, but continued on after graduating to be further educated specifically in Executive Business Coaching, Leadership Coaching, and Organizational Coaching.
After graduation, I decided to go
for a Master Coach Trainer. This means that I can train
leaders to become coaches within their organizations. I also became
an instructor at the International Coach Academy teaching Advanced
Coaching to students.
Do you recall how your interest in
midlife crisis originated?
Yes, it started with my own experience. When I was about 45, I had an amazing job working for the government developing programs and initiatives that would improve morale. I was even called Special Advisor for Spirit.
Even though I was racing through my
own life at 200 mph, I had this feeling like there was something I
was supposed to do or figure out. It was like having a thought on the
tip of your tongue but never ‘getting’ it. I even went to see a
Channeler to help me figure it out. This explained a few things but
not enough. Shortly after that visit, I had a major motorcycle
accident that landed me in the hospital for 5 months. Some folks said
that getting my Motorcycle was the beginning of my Midlife Crisis. It
was definitely a time of defiance for me. I did want to make some big
changes in my life, and leaving my marriage was one of them.
I began to see things differently
after my accident. I saw that I hadn’t been listening to my
intuition. I had really known all along what I was struggling with
and what I needed to do, so when the accident happened, I immediately
understood that the Universe had taken care of the situation for me.
As I went through my spiritual journey, I realized that many of
things I had once identified with were not really me. They didn’t
define who I was. Things like my car, my job, etc. and when I finally
‘got’ that my purpose was what I had been doing all along,
helping people become the best that they could be, it was a
I was emerging as my true self, honest, authentic and in alignment with who I was.
When I was teaching coaching at ICA,
I began to see a pattern emerge among the new students. Many of these
Life coaching Students were between ages 45-65 and most had at least
a Masters degree with many of them sporting PhD’s as well. These
folks also had an affinity for anything metaphysical or spiritual.
These got me to wondering about WHY would this particular age group,
up and leave their life long professions, tenured positions (one of
them was even a neurosurgeon) to become a life coach? I decided to
survey them and this became the basis for my Coaching Thesis.
Do you believe that Midlife crises
seem to affect men and women differently and if so, why?
Yes I do. I think that a man’s midlife crisis affects them differently from a woman’s. Men tend to break out of the mold by purchasing ‘THINGS’ and /or getting a new hobby like Sky Diving. Having ‘things’ can help a man with his self- esteem and confidence. This often times includes the ‘trappings’ of success, large ticket items like boats, motorcycles, airplanes or sports cars. Things that will make other men envious of them and women attracted to them. They also will start to work out again, look for younger woman to make them feel sexy, and it is this external evidence of change that starts the real metamorphosis for them.
Woman on the other hand seem to have two ‘crisis times in their life. The first time happens in mid thirties, when they are ready to RUN away from their life at all costs. This is the time when you will see them break out of their marriage by having an affair. This is not for love but rather for evidential proof that they should leave. It’s like they are looking for any reason to go that they might understand because they don’t really KNOW why they just became dissatisfied, especially when things on the outside look pretty good. All they know is that they want to leave. They are looking to “find themselves’ without having to nurture anyone else. The second crisis may happen by itself or may be forced on them when their husband leaves.
At this time, they really enter
their own spiritual journey and will not seek out companionship right
away like a man will. They seek freedom to get to know themselves.
They will read self- help books, go to courses, join woman’s groups
and look deeper inside for who they are. Men like to know that there
will be someone to look after them once they leave their home. Women
don’t seem to worry about that as much. Of course there are
exceptions to every rule, and some would say that the Cougars are
going through Midlife Crisis. I would say that they are Cougars
because they want to stay free, but have fun along the way.
It appears that midlife crisis seems
to be more prevalent in our Western Culture rather than some other
cultures such as Japanese and Indian societies. Why do you believe
this is so?
I think that part of the reason that
Midlife Crisis is more prevalent in North America than in the East is
First, let’s examine their culture. In both the Japanese and East Indian cultures, there is a deep spiritual component. Meditation is a way of life. Whether it is yoga or Tai chi, or some other form of enlightenment. When one meditates consistently, one is rewarded with an increase in self- awareness, intuition, and reduction of major stress. In other words, they are more in tune with their inner desires, thoughts and feelings. Since Life is an internal job, the more honest we are with ourselves, the more likely it is that we will be living a life we want to live.
The second reason is FAMILY. The
older one is in these cultures, the more revered they are. In Western
cultures, our senior citizens are seen as dead weight that needs to
be chopped off, instead of revered as loved ones that we want to have
around us, and respected for their knowledge and position in our
Thirdly, you will often see large groups of middle aged and seniors in groups in Eastern Culture sitting together. There is a sense of community and continuity. In the West, we are a culture of individuals, and as such I believe this is what makes it so difficult for us. There is no one to help support these feelings of change and so we go through this time alone and afraid.
What was the most difficult part of writing Midlife Mojo: How to get through the midlife crisis and emerge as your true self?
Wow, you ask tough questions. (smile..)
I think the most difficult
part was to ‘tame’ the spiritual content, or my beliefs, in
other that those who might not believe as I do, would not give up or
get lost in the “woo woo” stuff and fluff it off as new “agey”,
because it’s not. I know that this book is real prescription for
change and that regardless of my personal beliefs, the instructions,
tools and aids in this book come from best practices and will work on
Whom do you believe
will benefit from your book and why?
I think my book will benefit ANYONE
regardless of their age, especially if they want to make real changes
in their life but are allowing ‘fear’ to paralyze them from
making taking ACTION! This could be fear of change, fear of failure,
fear of success or even fear of hurting someone else.
My book is a prescription for change, a step-by- step guide that covers self- image, fears, and negative self -talk, so that the foundation is laid down for the real work of change. I had a wonderful review on Amazon from a 22 -year old who told me that she had read my book and it finally gave her an understanding of why her father left her mother a few years ago, a move that destroyed her sense of security as well as her relationship with her father. She wrote that she now has a new perspective on her father’s motives and what prompted him to act as he did. This has made room for dialogue between father and daughter that didn’t exist before.
Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?
Yes, I learned that it’s not easy to write a book. I learned that it takes commitment and I learned what I was made of. We don’t always know or test our mettle so to speak so it was good to know that I did walk my talk. When I would commit to 2 or even 3 chapters on one week, I made good on that commitment. However, when I said I would try, nothing got done for days.
It is said that writers
should write what they know. Were there any elements of the book that
forced you to step out of your comfort zone, and if so, how did you
approach this part of the writing?
I have to say I was pretty comfortable writing my subject matter but I worried that folks wouldn’t understand my sense of humour or get put off by it. I had the book edited in London, England and the woman who did it, really didn’t GET IT!! I had to say don’t edit my words, just look for spelling mistakes.
There is definitely a culture
difference and that was a bit worrisome.=
What has your
experience been like with self- publishing? Do you recommend it over
Book publishing was an area in which I had no experience so I relied on the advice of experts who either had their own interests at heart or who weren’t experienced themselves. I tend to believe it was the latter. There are many traps and pitfalls that one can avoid by education and experience and by doing due diligence.
I think that self -publishing was a good option for my book because I wanted to get this book out to folks quickly as well as wanting to get it out of me quickly. I had two other books inside me that I had begun to write and knew that they wouldn’t be finished unless this one came out first. One of them is my own personal story of tragedy and triumph, an inspirational piece that I am currently writing and hope to attract the attention of a traditional publisher.
Some folks say it’s not a real
book unless a traditional publisher takes it on. I disagree with that
whole-heartedly. I think that publishing is a very competitive market
and its not always what you write but whom you know that can get you
in the door. I would bet my house that there are FANTASTIC books out
there that never come before a traditional publisher and yet are well
worth the read.
I think that the Independent Publisher Awards help those writers who feel the need for acknowledgement in the industry.
If you have a book inside you that needs to come out, then I would highly recommend you write it whether you go the traditional or self-published route. Today in business, having a book with your name on it is the bare minimum for anyone who wants to become a speaker or noticed within his or her industry.
Obviously, I don’t prescribe to
the way of thinking that because a traditional publisher does not
pick up a book, it is not a good book. To be honest I didn’t even
try to send mine out. I just knew I wanted to write several books and
this was the first one of three.
The publishing industry is fraught with many dangers for the inexperienced, and I would say that if you don’t know how to market yourself, it might not be for you. One big shock was how much commission the online booksellers, like Amazon take to host your book.
I would advise anyone who wants to be an author to speak to as many published authors as you can, of both varieties. Publicists too, so you know the financial costs of what you are getting into. You will want to know that you have thought about different sources of marketing and the costs associated with them.
I honestly don’t think that anyone
realizes how difficult it can be to recover the costs of publishing
and that the author is the last one to make money from their books.
Of course that is not the reason I wrote my book. I wanted to help
folks, so with that in mind, marketing does become an issue because
you want to spread the news of your book as widely as possible.
Would I do it again? Of course and I would recommend it to anyone. It truly is one of those ‘life accomplishments’ that one can be proud of. One additional benefit of being self-published is that you retain the ‘rights’ to your book. This is great news because if indeed you want to send your book out to a traditional publisher AFTER you have self-published, you can do that. So in effect, you have the best of both worlds.
What will you be doing for promotion
and how much of it is your doing?
I stared marketing my book this past
August and hosted my own ‘AMAZON Day’. This was a day that I had
marketed to my contacts and networks for a period of two months. I
gave them the hype that my book was coming out in June, but asked
them NOT to purchase it until August 13th. I then sent out a
progressive campaign in which I sent out several notices in the weeks
leading up to the August 13th date, including having a banner made up
to put on my email signage to remind folks about purchasing my book
on August 13th. It even included a STOP sign that reminded them to
WAIT for Aug.13th. What this did was create a whirlwind of activity
on Amazon and drove my book sales up in ONE day to bestseller in
three categories. It was exciting to watch the numbers throughout the
I was repeatedly being asked for autographed copies so I reordered 200 books from my publisher, negotiating an advantageous deal from them for 20 FREE books to be included with that order. This came in REAL handy for sending out to publicists etc. Remember I said earlier that it is difficult to recoup costs. Often times the author purchases their book for
30 % off the cover cost. Couple that with postage, taxes and a low Canadian Dollar in my case, and it can be cost prohibitive to keep sending FREE books away. You will want to be judicious.
I also asked everyone to write and
post testimonials on different sites.
I am always looking for free opportunities to promote myself on radio and video but I also decided to hire an online publicist to help achieve this goal. She was so reasonable it was almost free. I also wrote to you Norm, to see if I could be included in your prestigious list of recommended authors.
I reached out to Chapters/Indigo to let them know of my interest in book signings and have been invited to several of their stores across Canada.
I created another radio show called Midlife Mojo, based on my book, but introducing other authors who can help those in Midlife make the changes they want to their lives.
How can our readers find out more
about you and your book?
Norm, your readers can go to
www.midlife-mojo.com to order an autographed copy of the book or they
can go to www.Amazon.com to read the testimonials, IUniverse, Barnes
and Noble on line, to have a look at the inside of the book.
Your audience can also watch an online Video testimonial from a
reader in the UK who sent it to www.amazon.com.uk. If anyone wishes
to contact me or know more about me personally, what I am up too, my
coaching and my radio shows, they can go to
www.instituteforquantumliving.com or email me at
What is next for Frankie Picasso and
is there anything else you wish to add that we have not covered?
As I previously stated Norm, I have
another book in the works. In fact, I will send you the first two
chapters. I state that I specialize in the Impossible and help others
turn their goals and dreams into Unstoppable outcomes. On that note,
I am looking to produce the Unstoppable Tour, an evening of
inspiration, that I hope take on the road with a few other
inspirational artists, creating a multimedia show, theatre, music and
art and voice that will surely stir the senses.
Thanks once again and good luck with all of your endeavors.
To read Norm's Review of Midlife Mojo CLICK HERE