Publisher: She WritesPress, 

Author: Judith Ruskay Rabinor, PhD

ISBN: 978-1-64742-041-6


Dr. Raninor, author of The Girl in the Red Boots, has penned two prior books (A Starving Madness: Tales of Hunger, Hope, and Healing- 2002, and Befriendling Your Ex After Divorce: Making Life Better for You, Your Ex, and Yes, Your Ex! – 2012). (p.271, 2021) 


She has written several articles for both the public and private sectors. She consults remotely for writers, clinicians, and families. She speaks and conducts workshops at spas, universities and colleges, and retreats. Esalon in California is one of her favorites. 

The first portion of her book provides some insight into how she gets people relaxed at her workshops. An exercise she provides sets the tone. The she invites the participants to describe certain things and feelings. The topic is mother daughter relationships. 

Dr. Rabinor had a difficult relationship with her own mother and this is what propelled her into this type of therapy. There is an old saying that says we go into the professions we need the most help in. (paraphrase) Obviously, Dr. Rabinor felt that pull too. 

When speaking about therapists Dr. Rabinor suggests that “Therapists need to notice and become comfortable with how easy it is to blame, demonize, or idealize one’s mother.”. (p.3, 2021) Instead they should be entirely objective. 


She talks about her own childhood experiences and how she mother was perpetually happy and agreeable. Always and forever the cheerleader. She felt she was being totally untrue to herself, but could never quite find the right entry to broach this topic. They actually sort of had that talk many decades later. 

Judith and her family endure a few family setbacks and tragedies that one might assume would bring them closer together. They do not, at least not initially. In the process of healing they do find some threads that tie back into earlier life stories and question thoughts and feelings from that time. 

A career that began with assisting young women with eating disorders has blossomed into seminar and retreats and the like. It even got Dr. Rabinor a guest spot on many storied talk shows to which he mother was finally enthralled about her choice of career. 

There are parallel stories here about patients and their problems woven into the life issues that Judith and her own family had. All were steppingstones toward personal growth and understanding. All problems required addressing. Many required resolution and some were easier to resolve than others. There was so much to take in and digest. I truly learned a lot about myself in the process. Too bad my mother is no longer alive so I might practice some of the tricks of the trade toward smoothing our difficult relationship. I believe woman alive needs to read this and learn from Dr. Rabinor's stories. We all need a bit of help from time to time.