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Born Under the Gaslight: A Memoir of My Descent Into Borderline Personality Disorder Reviewed by Fran Lewis of Bookpleasures.com
- By Fran Lewis
- Published September 8, 2020
- Biographies & Memoirs
Fran Lewis
Reviewer Fran Lewis:
Fran worked in the NYC Public Schools as the Reading and Writing
Staff Developer for over 36 years. She has three masters degrees and
a PD in Supervision and Administration. Currently. She is a member of
Who's Who of America's Teachers and Who's
Who of America's Executives from Cambridge. In addition,
she is the author of three children's books and a fourth Alzheimer’s
book is Memories are Precious: Alzheimer’s Journey: Ruth’s story
in honor of her mom. Fran
hopes to create more awareness for a cure of Alzheimer.
She
was also the musical director for shows in her school and ran the
school's newspaper. Fran writes reviews for authors upon request and
for several other sites. You can read some of my reviews on Ezine.com
and on ijustfinished under
the name Gabina.
Follow Here To Listen to Fran's Radio Show and Here
View all articles by Fran Lewis
Author: Cindy Collins
Publisher: Indomitable Press
ISBN: 9781734681512
Children are born to parents and are supposed to be nurtured and protected. Their lives should be filled with smiles, hugs, love and opportunities to grow. What happens when two parents are so callus, unfeeling, uncaring and more than negligent? How does a young child cope with family abuse, hidden truths she is supposed to keep tucked away, parents that do not care about her safety and well being, she becomes a breeding ground for Borderline Personality Disorder. This is a story that will open your eyes to what needed to be done at the time and the fears she faced even when she spoke out and asked for help.
Hearing her voice and
experiencing her abuse is more than shocking its criminal. A mother
who justifies her own misguided parenting, forcing her daughter into
thinking the negative things she experiences was her own fault. It is
all about appearances and false images as the author relates what
happened in school, bullies, berating and asking for help, speaking
out and all going to deaf ears.
Anyone of her neighbors that informed her parents that they are children needed guidance and help were immediately forbidden to ever see or talk with them again. Her grandparents were off limits and her only friend tipped from her side. School was a nightmare and the harassment even worse forcing her to hide in the bathroom to eat lunch. Good that was more than expired and a mother who could care less if she is sick and a brother who was a thief and dud jail time.
Her sanity in question as
her mother tried to make her believe that she was imagining things or
gas lighting her. Life was a constant battle for survival and even
having to get proper medical care irked her mother who presented her
with a huge bill for daring to see an adult doctor for a problem she
had in the past. Nightly and daily tortures and lying and telling her
she was imaging things that never happened.
Dressing goth and trying to define herself , dealing with a brother that was lethal at times and dating Chuck for too long. Just wanting to be accepted, loved and cared for but this never happened. How no one reported this mother for her abuse and how she hit away with it is frightening.
Cindy tells her story in
her own words each chapter of her life created with honesty and
vividly told. Greg was her mainstay for a while, and he brought her
out of the streets and into his home and heart. While her mother
invented lies about her physical and mental health including her own
fabrications and lies drawing the attention to herself. Always having
to be in the limelight and even ignoring her accomplishments, her
mother was never her champion in life.
Greg was great yet she walked
away from him restless and unsettled. Drugs and alcohol were her
mainstay and yet somehow she survived you wonder how. Added in she
enrolled in school and took a server’s job in the Olive Garden
which ad you continue reading her journey saved her life and
eventually after buying her own home saving the lives of others.
Her home became the sanctuary for lost souls you might say and even though she had PTSD and borderline personality disorder eventually she met Darrin. Life has handed her years of tough times and no one had the guts to take down her mom until Darrin. As you get to know her mom and look hard within her you will wonder if she were in competition for attention that Cindy would have gotten from others has she not gas lighted her.
As her story is never ending we learn about how she must deal trying time social security disability and the hard road she must take. Definitions of not always define who and what you are dealing with and hearing voices, taking to others in her head and being borderline personality disorder brings more than its own difficulties and mental stress. Lessons are learned.
Hope takes time and faith in herself and support from
outside sources might help her through but only Cindy can soar and
rise to every occasion, find a job she feels secure in and maybe
permanent but most of all look in the mirror and see the that you
have Darrin, friends and after many other champions cheering you on a
knowing you will succeed. Look at your face in the mirror and be
proud of who you are looking back.
This disorder is something you are dealing with and getting help for do not let it continue to define who you are. This is a must read for others dealing with this disorder and other mental health issues. Life takes us on many journeys and Cindy is still finding her own place in this world and each day she works harder at overcoming what life has handed her.