Author: Antoine Leiris

Publisher: Penguin/Random House.

ISBN:  978-0735222113

A burning inferno, an earthquake and a volcanic eruption create much destruction which can lead to deaths, leaving people homeless and creating much devastation. But, nothing is a toxic or volatile as hate and terrorism. When you wake up in the morning and send your children off to school as you and your wife prepare to begin your day, you never think that the your precious kiss goodbye will be your last.  How dare they take from you what is rightfully yours and how dare they bask in their own hate and what they consider their glory! It’s time the world set aside its differences and united to rid the world of those who altered and forever changed the lives of author Antoine and his precious son, Melvil. November 13 at 10: 37 the life of author Antoine changed as he would wait and anticipate his wife coming home from a concert at the Bataclan Theater in Paris. Little did he know that terrorists entered the theater and took the lives of many people.

Never wavering and never giving up hope until the final and fatal silent shot rang out when he learned that his wife Helene was gone. Hearing the news, visualizing the carnage and not wanting to believe the inevitable truth. Massacre, bloodbath, carnage is reported in the news and yet he went out to look for her and realized that death was all around him but he needed to try and find Helene. The world around him went on yet his was like an orchestra without a leader; a video with a plot that was unfinished with an ending that he hoped had yet to be written. Moving ahead how would he do that and yet have his son leading a normal life without his mother? Finding someone to take out his anger and having a “culprit, someone to take the brunt of his anger, is an open door, a chance to temporarily escape your suffering.” But, can you ever escape and the more legitimate your hatred will that solve anything? Can you hate someone in order to hate what’s is left of your life?

The hard part was seeing her in the morgue and having that special time to say goodbye, talk to hear and then release her to Paradise. Why should he have to face goodbye when they barely said hello? Why should a young child have to limit his memories of his mother yet with Antoine she would never fade from his life? As the world experiences the work of ISIS and it’s terrorist group those of us living in the affected areas this week understand what Antoine experienced in November as France was hit so many times and them other countries around the world are crying out to stop the evil being spread. Yet, he would never give in and in an open letter on Facebook it says it all but first he would get his son from daycare and have some special time with him remembering the songs his Helene created for them and the times they had together just showing their love. These times will remain in his heart forever as he writes this honest, down to earth open letter to those that took his wife away from him.

Titled: YOU WILL NOT LET YOU HAVE MY HATE! The author tells how they stole the life of his wife, the mother of his child and that they will not have his hate. He does not know who they are nor does he want to know them. His description of them as “Dead Souls,” fits perfectly. He continues by saying that he will not give them the satisfaction of hating you. Of course that’s what they expect and want and he will not respond to their hate with anger and yield and become ignorant like them, as most people would walk in fear of others, looking at their neighbors he won't do that. Read the open letter and hear his voice as he expresses his sorrow but yet shows his inner strength. It is now Antoine and his son and they are stronger than all of their armies.

The women of his church are amazing as each one helped by making him and his son meals each night placing them in special containers. Even though his son might not have liked what they made the outpouring of love was there and accepted. Then N. calls him and when they get together a startling revelation is made about the night his wife died and whose arms she was in when she took her last breath. Each person wants to console and understand his grief as he measures it as if it was the highest number on the Richter scale which calibrates an earthquake and its strength. Conversations are stilted and often rehearsed. Expressing his emotions and stating that he did not ask for his fate and right not to be afraid, love again and not to be capable.

This is a story about survival, courage, fear, love for a child, a letter from a child to his mother who is no longer here and most off all it is a book that will forever hold Helene in their hearts and keep her alive. When a child visits his mother in her final resting place how do you explain that is where she will be forever and never come home? When I think about this story I realize that Antoine shared something so precious and special I am reminded of these words in a song: Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart and you’ll never walk along, no you’ll NEVER WALK ALONE! Antoine you and Melvil will never walk alone!