Bookpleasures.com welcomes as our guest Kathalynn Turner Davis who, along with Genevieve Joy, is the author of Kiss Me Swami: The Spiritual Education of a Beauty Queen. Kathalynn is a life coach, psychotherapist, certified Sedona Method coach, high-performance specialist and workshop leader, as well as an actress and writer. We also learn of her studies, both Eastern and Western philosophies and teachings. 

Her travels have brought her to such faraway places as India and Israel, and she has met with many world-renowned teachers and swamis' avatars. In addition to practising as a psychotherapist and coach, she has appeared in film, television, and theater.

Norm: Good day Kathalynn and thanks for participating in our interview.

What do you consider to be your greatest success (or successes) so far in your careers?

Kathalynn: I would have to say my children!  Motherhood is the hardest and most rewarding job there is!

Norm: What has been your greatest challenge (professionally) that you’ve overcome in getting to where you’re at today?

Kathalynn:The biggest challenge I had, in my early years as a therapist, was confronting areas where I wasn't practicing what I preached. For example, many of my clients were attractive, middle-aged women who wanted out of their unhappy marriages and came to me for help in taking the steps. 

I helped these women release the fears that were keeping them stuck, and rebuild their confidence so they could courageously reclaim their lives.  All the while, however- I, myself was married to a man with whom I did not get along, and my home life was miserable.

Although my clients didn't know what was going on with me personally, I knew I wasn't walking my talk and it made me feel ashamed.  Once I decided to start taking my own advice and stop being a hypocrite, I was able to serve my clients’ needs from a more authentic perspective.

Norm: How many times in your various careers have you experienced rejection?  How did they shape you?

Kathalynn: Rejection is pretty much synonymous with show business in all its forms.  As a pageant contestant, I took losses pretty hard and that went on through my twenties when I was acting. 

Rejection hurts but it also can be a good thing. Sometimes, when we’re stuck in an idea about where we think we want our lives to go, life may be handing us clues, in the form of those painful rejections, that guide us to a better path.

If everything had been easy and smooth for me, I doubt I would have noticed a need for spiritual growth, the pursuit of which has brought me countless gifts and taken me on wonderful adventures.  

Norm: You are a Sedona Method Certified Coach?  Please tell our readers what this is all about and how do you become certified?

Kathalynn: The Sedona Method is a powerful, yet at the same time, simple and easy-to-use technique or way of ‘letting go’.  In other words, it's a tool for letting go of feelings that are painful and negative and that disrupt and distort a person's reality.  

We hear the words 'let it go' thrown around so much, it's even the title of a Disney song, but more often than not, it's much easier said than done.  I gravitated toward The Sedona Method because it not only tells you what to do, it walks you through the steps of how.  

Becoming a certified Sedona Method instructor takes a lot of work and dedication.  I don't remember what the exact requirements were at the time when I completed my training, as it was a long time ago, and I'm sure they have changed; but there were a number of prerequisite courses as well as mandatory time logged releasing with partners.  I use this work on a daily basis both with my clients and in my personal life, and I cannot recommend it more. 

Norm; Has your career as an actress helped you in your career as a psychotherapist?  If so, how? As a follow up, are you still acting?

Kathalynn: The lessons I learned while training to be an actress were invaluable to me as a therapist.  The study of acting is literally the study of human behavior; in preparing to play any role, my job as an actress was to connect with what motivated my character to act and behave as dictated by the playwright. 

Failure to understand my character's intention led to a performance lacking in truth.  In the book, I use the example of Tennessee Williams' Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.  At the time when I attempted the role, I didn't know what it was to lust after a man the way Maggie lusted for Brick; and it showed in my performance.  Imagine, now, that Maggie was a client of mine.  With no real grasp of where she was coming from, I can't imagine I would have been much help.  

Stella Adler taught me to watch people closely, as they'll let you know who they are, sometimes with just a word.  This advice has served me not only in my acting and in my work as a therapist, but in my personal life as well.

Before I left New York, I was fortunate enough to join Lyle Kessler's master acting class.  It not only reignited my passion for the craft, but was like a refresher course in psychotherapy. 

In 2013 I briefly returned to the stage, playing the lead in a short play, a brilliant little piece that was essentially a modern-day The Graduate.  It played in festivals in both New Jersey and New York.  It was a lovely experience, but I have not acted since.

Norm: What motivated you to write Kiss Me Swami: The Spiritual Education of a Beauty Queen? And where did the title come from?

Kathalynn: My motivation to write Kiss Me Swami was initially sparked after a therapy session wherein I shared a few anecdotes from my Hollywood days. 

Once I got started, I began to really enjoy the process, and I received so much support and encouragement from others, which helped keep me momentum going.  The book's title, Kiss Me Swami, was inspired by a dream I had about an encounter Hindu master.

Norm: What purpose do you believe your memoir serve and what matters to you about the book?  As a follow up, what do you hope will be the everlasting thoughts for readers who finish your book?

Kathalynn: My thoughts on what purpose a memoir serves have changed over the course of writing mine.  I believe the answer varies from author to author. 

The purpose of mine is to entertain people, obviously, but I also hope that by sharing my journey I will help people rectify their pasts and let go of old resentments and beliefs that hold them back, the way I am always striving to do. 

As for everlasting thoughts, I just hope they'll come away having enjoyed themselves, realize that age is just a number and learned something of value.     

Norm: What was the most difficult thing for you about writing your memoir?

Kathalynn: When I decided I wanted this book to reach people on an emotional level, as opposed to just being fun and entertaining, I knew it would need to expose some ‘undercurrent ,’ which was hard for me. I was raised that polite people didn’t air dirty laundry.  By opening up about certain truths, for example, my mother’s alcoholism, I knew I may piss off some relatives. As much as I wanted my family’s approval, but I felt I was going to need to take that risk. 

It was a challenge, pulling up memories I'd been suppressing for years because they were sources of pain and embarrassment.  There were days when I just couldn’t confront the page because I’d been triggered into tailspin of anger or self-pity.

Also, I was unsure at times where to infuse the stories with spiritual lessons- as it was also important to me that the book maintain an overarching theme of spiritual growth.  The answer, of course, was everywhere- as truly, every moment contains at least a thousand hidden spiritual lessons!

Norm: What was one of the most surprising things you learned in writing your memoir?

Kathalynn: It surprised me how positively people responded to my memoir.  As I said, it took me until I was in my sixties to consider writing a book because truly, I didn't think my life was anything people would want to read about. 

The fact that people seem to be loving it is a wonderful surprise. It also surprised me how much I began to enjoy my story as well. I’d been sitting in judgement of my former self for some of the choices I made; but once acquainted with the ‘me’ of my past, I began to understand why I took certain roads, and gave myself some long-denied approval.  My gratitude expanded to include not only the fun, sexy parts of my journey, but all of it. 

Norm: What do you think makes a good memoir?

Kathalynn: I read a number of memoirs in preparing to write this book.  Some of them, for example, Patricia Bosworth's The Men in My Life, were fantastic, entertaining, and enlightening reads.  Others, however, I felt really teetered on the edge of being way too self-indulgent. 

That is one hazard that I feel must be avoided at all costs.  In writing this book, I checked in myself ad nauseum, always asking the questions, 'is this necessary?' or, even more importantly, 'is this interesting?' because while it may be about me, it ultimately isn't for me; it's for other people to absorb and hopefully enjoy.

Norm: Where can our readers find out more about and Kiss Me Swami: The Spiritual Education of a Beauty Queen?

Kathalynn: I have a WEBSITE  where I regularly post updates, people are welcome to follow me on social media @kathalynnturnerdavis

Norm: What is next for Kathalynn Turner Davis?

Kathalynn: More of the same, I guess!  I plan to continue coaching and lecturing, and who knows, maybe there's even another book to write!

Norm: Thanks once again and good luck with all of your future endeavors.

Follow Here To Read Norm's Review of Kiss Me Swami: The Spiritual Education of a Beauty Queen

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