In the introduction Debra introduces the possibility of not liking parts of our personalities, as well as, telling us that whatever we believe is amiss is actually 100% right. (paraphrase, p.17) To which she adds, “”It’s all about the elements. – “The key is to become the Observer…”. 

Chapter 1 delves into crisis. “…we all grow out of the soil of pain.” (2021, p.21) “The soul uses pain, crisis, and trauma to wake us up.” How many times have you been woken up? What lessons did you learn from that pain?

The Observer is introduced in Chapter 2. Debra says “…identify the two voices that make you human; your ego and it’s chatty, self-serving endless quirkiness, and what I am calling the wise Observer that is patient, non-judgmental and loving.” (2021, p.31) She describes how each affects our personality and thought processes. 

Chapter three ties our personality traits to the various elements. Although, as I read and deciphered each one I found that I was more a compilation of them that one stead and true. For instance, water is associated with our feelings, air is our intellect, and earth is our practical side while fire is our energy. (paraphrase, p.40) Debra thrashes out a lot more that what I touched here on the surface and even shows us how men and women differ in each of these elemental personality traits. She predicts that the more we know about ourselves and understand the better we can understand one another and work together. 

There are exercises that invite us to see how we can use our basic traits to assist us in social settings, work situations, romantic or love relationships, and family life. Don’t just read the words, but actually take a moment to consider what she is suggesting here. I enjoyed this book and learned a lot in the process and I believe you will too.