Bookpleasures.com is excited to welcome Jennifer Licate as our guest, the author of My Anxiety Is Messing Things Up, which beautifully captures the journey of Oscar, a young boy whose perfectionism and worry begin to overshadow his life.

In this conversation, we aim to shed light on a challenge that affects countless children yet often remains unspoken: anxiety.

Jennifer is exceptionally qualified to guide us through this topic. As an award-winning author and a dedicated school counselor for over a decade, she has witnessed firsthand the transformative power of stories in healing and empowerment.

Through her work, she combines her knowledge and creativity to produce social and emotional learning books that help children feel understood and equipped to tackle life’s challenges.

Jennifer’s commitment to ensuring that every child feels valued and respected is evident in her writing.

Norm: Thank you, Jennifer, for joining us to discuss Oscar’s journey and the vital strategies you offer in your work.

In My Anxiety Is Messing Things Up, you chose to focus on a male protagonist, Oscar. What inspired you to tell this story from the perspective of a young boy? Based on your experiences as a counselor, do you find that boys express or experience anxiety differently than girls? 

How did this insight shape Oscar’s character?

Jennifer: I was inspired to write this story from the perspective of a young boy because as a school counselor, I have found boys are less likely to speak up and share that they are struggling with anxiety. 

When I meet with boys about their anxiety it is usually a result of a parent referral or because the child's anxiety symptoms were so apparent or interfered in a way they could no longer effectively deal with anxiety on their own. 

This was different from the girls I work with who were much more likely to seek out support on their own, if they were struggling with anxiety. 

I thought Oscar as the protagonist would help normalize anxiety for boys and show them they are not alone in their struggles.

Norm: Oscar's anxiety stems from perfectionism and the fear of letting others down. How prevalent is this specific trigger for anxiety in the 9-13 age group you write for?

What advice would you provide to well-meaning parents on how to support their children’s ambitions without inadvertently adding pressure to them?

Jennifer: According to a study in the Journal of Psychoeducational Assessment, perfectionism affects between 25%-30% of children and adolescents. 

The advice I would give to parents is to watch for signs of anxiety and unrealistic statements from their child. 

Use these signs of anxiety or unrealistic statements as an opportunity to talk to your child and learn more about their experiences and their expectations for themselves. 

Work with your child to be proud of their journey and work toward their achievements instead of focusing on perfection.

Norm: The depiction of Oscar’s physical symptoms, such as insomnia and racing thoughts, feels incredibly authentic.

What was your process for vividly portraying that internal experience for young readers?

How do you balance making the feelings of anxiety relatable while ensuring they aren’t too frightening for children?

Jennifer: The depiction of Oscar's physical symptoms is based on my experience working with children and adolescents and my knowledge in the field of mental health and counseling. 

I used age-appropriate language so children and adolescents understood the symptoms being explained but I was careful to not scare them with language or concepts beyond their years. 

If children are experiencing these symptoms the explanation puts a name to what they are experiencing and validates their experience. 

If students are not experiencing anxiety, it helps them to understand what others are going through. 

It is also helpful for children who are not actively anxious to understand the symptoms of anxiety because they will most likely encounter situations that make them anxious in the future.

Norm: The CATS support group serves as a critical turning point for Oscar. Is the concept of a school-based group like this inspired by programs you’ve developed or observed in your counseling work?

For schools that lack a “CATS group,” what key elements could parents or teachers replicate to support children in similar situations?

Jennifer: I facilitated a counseling group very similar to the "CATS group" in a school where I worked, which is where the idea for this book was developed. 

I wrote this book for many reasons.  This book is a valuable resource for counselors to use in guiding their school-based counseling group. 

Counselors can read one or two chapters per group session and use the discussion questions and activities in the Teacher and Counselor Activity Guide (or create their own) to deepen the understanding and provide an atmosphere where group members can share. 

Teachers can read the book to their class if they are noticing students are struggling with anxiety or they value educating students on mental health topics. 

If a school does not have school-based counseling groups, they can support students who are anxious by educating the students on anxiety and positive coping strategies. 

Hopefully the school has a counselor who can meet with students during anxious times. 

In addition, the students should have a safe space where they can go when they are feeling anxious to calm themselves by using the coping strategies.

Norm: You introduce a diverse cast of characters in the group, such as Nia, who struggles with test anxiety, and José, who faces social anxiety.

How did you choose which specific anxieties to represent alongside Oscar’s?

What do you hope readers take away from understanding that anxiety can manifest in various forms?

Jennifer: I wanted young readers to understand that anxiety will have different triggers and present in different ways, as far as the level of anxiety and the physical symptoms. 

I wanted young readers to still seek support in dealing with their anxiety, even if it isn't to the severe level. 

They can use the coping strategies to feel better; everyone deserves to feel their best.   I chose triggers of anxiety that are common among children and adolescents to help them connect with the characters. 

Norm: Your bio states that you want children to feel as though your stories speak directly to them.

Which scene or moment in My Anxiety Is Messing Things Up do you believe most effectively communicates that feeling?

Jennifer: If I have to pick, I believe the scene at the end of My Anxiety is Messing Things Up most effectively speaks to children. 

Oscar received the positive feedback from his friends that they noticed the changes in his behavior. 

Oscar was dealing with his anxiety in a more positive way and was proud of himself. 

Oscar put in a lot of work to get to this place, by joining the CATS group, sharing within the group and using daily coping strategies. 

Even with this knowledge, Oscar kept this to himself.  I thought this spoke to how children and adolescents interact with their peers. 

Children and adolescents are slow to reveal information that they feel reflects poorly on them. 

Oscar allowed himself to keep this information private even with his friends asking him about it. 

He didn't feel pressured to share with his friends, just because they're close friends.

Norm: The book provides a practical toolkit with strategies like exercise, journaling, and deep breathing.

What led you to select these particular strategies? If a child were to start with just one, which do you think would provide the most immediate benefit and why?

Jennifer: I chose coping skills that could be used in a variety of settings.  I didn't want to choose a coping skill that was so specific it could not be used in a triggering moment or situation. 

If I were to suggest one coping skill students should try, it would be deep breathing exercises because you can use deep breathing exercises throughout your day, as anxious thoughts come up. 

Your breath is always accessible to you, unlike coping skills such as exercise which may not be appropriate for certain settings.

Norm: Ms. Lopez, a teacher, is the first to notice Oscar's struggles and connect him with help.

What signs should educators watch for to identify students who may be quietly struggling, like Oscar?

How can a teacher approach a concerned student in a way that feels supportive rather than singling them out?

Jennifer: Ms. Lopez approached Oscar privately to share what she noticed and share her concerns.  This is the way I would suggest teachers approach students they are concerned about. 

Teachers should never approach students when they are in a group setting. 

If teachers structure the conversation in a caring way, students shouldn't feel singled out, instead the message will be that there are adults within the school that care about them. 

Students may not always take the help offered, but they may think about it and accept the help at a later time, or go home and talk to their family about needing support. 

The signs a student may show if they are struggling with anxiety include any changes in behavior, such as a student who was very engaged in school and now seems distracted, fidgeting, anxious statements, frequent visits to the restroom and /or to the nurse. 

These signs would suggest it's time for the teacher to talk with the student as a check-in or talk with the school staff who support this student, such as the school counselor. 

There may be additional information other staff members  have about this student that will help the teacher to better support the student.

Norm: The narrative effectively illustrates how Oscar’s internal anxiety impacts his friendships. Why was it essential to showcase this social consequence?

What initial step can a child take to repair a friendship after they’ve inadvertently hurt a friend due to stress or irritability, as Oscar did?

Jennifer: I wanted to show the impact Oscar's anxiety had on his friendships because I wanted young readers to understand that when children are struggling with something internally, it is hard for these struggles to not spill over into other areas of their life. 

I thought the social consequences were important to demonstrate because children and adolescents put such an emphasis on their social relationships. 

I thought if children understood how anxiety can negatively affect their social relationships, they would be more likely to work to improve their level of anxiety. 

The first step when any child offends a friend or peer is to apologize to the child they hurt or offended.

Norm: The book is structured in a clear progression from problem to solution. How does your background as a school counselor inform the way you structure your narratives?

Do you outline the "lesson" or emotional arc first and then develop the story around it, or does the story come first for you?

Jennifer: The idea for a story comes to me first and then I spend time thinking about how the story could be structured so it speaks to children and adolescents.

Norm: As both a writer and counselor, what do you see as the most pressing emotional or social challenge facing pre-teens today that you haven’t yet explored in your writing?

How do you keep your understanding current with the evolving pressures children face, including those from social media and academics?

Jennifer: Two areas I haven't yet explored in my writing that are facing pre-teens are the pressures and safety of social media and the death of a loved one. 

I keep my understanding current through my work in a school and as a mother to two teenagers.

Norm: Where can our readers find out more about you and My Anxiety Is Messing Things Up?

Jennifer: Readers can visit my WEBSITE, for information on all of my books and myself.

Norm: As we conclude our conversation, your work embodies the concept of bibliotherapy—using stories as healing tools.

For parents and educators listening, beyond your own books, what makes storytelling such a powerful tool for social and emotional learning?

Could you recommend another book or author whose work you admire in the area of children's mental and emotional health?

Jennifer: Storytelling is such a powerful tool because children and people of all ages can immerse themselves into a story and learn from the characters. 

Sometimes when people are in a trying situation, it can be hard for them to have hope that their situation will get better. 

Through taking themselves out of the situation, readers can root for the characters and understand a positive resolution for their situation is also possible. 

My books also teach strategies to get through challenging times, which many bibliotherapy books do.  Another author of children's mental and emotional health books that I respect is Julia Cook.

Norm: Thanks once again and good luck with all of your future endeavors

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