Authors:Denise Wiesner with Linda Sparrowe

Denise Wiesner, author of Conceiving With Love, holds a BA in Exercise Kinesiology from UCLA and a MA in Chinese Medicine from Emperor’s College. (2019, inside back cover). She is also certified as a sex coach board certified in the State of California. Wiesner founded the Natural Healing Acupuncture Clinic in West Los Angeles where she practices a total body approach to women’s fertility issues, menstrual disorders, and menopause. Many of her breakthroughs have come from combining the use of nutritional supplements with Chinese herbs and traditional counseling with diet and acupuncture. Denise teaches seminars in the application of Chinese medicine to MD’s, ob-gyn’s, and nurse midwives. She lectures at conferences and is professor in the Doctoral program in Chinese Medicine, Fertility, and Women’s Health at the Yo San University.

She has two sons and enjoys playing the guitar, doing yoga, and dancing. 

Weisner in chapter one titled What’s Up Down There re-educates us in anatomy of our sexes. Her detailed diagrams and descriptions help even the lay person understand what each sex looks like and how it behaves toward sex from a physiological standpoint. Each part of the male and female anatomy is then discussed in depth as are what physically occurs in our sexual organs as we get stimulated and ready to begin having sex.  Did you know that “…the average time for a woman to become highly aroused is about twenty minutes—this is when women get wet and men get hard.” (2019, p,33) 

What occurs before and during sex has a lot to do with conception and vice versa. Passion, like most things in life, is not static, it ebbs and flows. Too often couples trying to bear children become so engrossed in the end result that they completely ignore how to have fun having sex.  Sometimes getting an outside look at what happens inside can change the dynamics such that couples who previously had difficulties trying to conceive easily conceive and are not stressed out by performing only at peak times of ovulation etc..  

Weisner suggests foods and certain scents can help elevate our sexuality and enliven the possibility of conception. For instance, she says that women find bitter orange an aphrodisiac. Men tend to trend toward woody scents like sandalwood, musk seed, etc. as a turn on. 

Communication is paramount to keeping any relationship alive and functioning at optimum. To which Weisner quotes Stan Tatkin who says, “…each of us comes into a relationship with different needs, habits, and ways of relating to conflict.” (2019, p,49) Therefore, “we must commit to truly listening to and understanding each other’s needs.”  How often have your needs been left unmet because you did not know how to communicate them to your partner? Do not despair. Communication is not always easy and sometimes when it becomes difficult it needs to have ground rules. For instance, one person speaks and uses “I” statements. I.e. I feel like you do not hear me. And when you do not hear me it hurts or makes me angry or whatever it does to you. The other partner listens and does not speak until the other is done and uses the same I statements. This communication technique takes the blame out of the communication game and helps reinforce a positive spin on what is amiss.

This book is jam packed with useful relationship and relating information and information about human sexuality and how we might go about getting the most from sex in our relationships. I truly enjoyed it and believe that if you have an open mind and heart you will too.