Gordon Osmond's So You Think You Know English: A Guide to English for Those Who Think They Don’t Need One. Reviewed By James Broderick Of Bookpleasures.com
Reviewer James
Broderick, Ph.D: James is an associate professor of English and journalism at
New Jersey City University. A former newspaper reporter and editor,
he is the author of six non-fiction books, and the novel Stalked. His
latest book is Greatness Thrust Upon Them, a collection of interviews
with Shakespearean actors across America. Follow Here To Listen To An Interview With James Broderick.
Author: Gordon Osmond Publisher: PublishAmerica ISBN: 978-1-61546-414-2
I have a lot to say about Gordon Osmond’s So You Think You Know English. But first, a quiz:
Which of the following prospects causes you the most trepidation:
Receiving a root canal without anesthesia.
Getting stuck in an elevator with an insurance salesman.
Being forced to read a book on English grammar.
As
someone who has never experienced option 1 or 2, I’d still probably opt
for either instead of option 3 – and I’m a word person. But I’ve spent
– no, lost – untold hours plowing through page after dreary page of
dry-as-dust guides to proper English grammar (the mere memory of some of
those dutiful readings is enough to send me racing to the nearest oral
surgeon.).
It
was in that "perspirative" spirit (I used this word, as I felt the review needed it, even though "perspirative" doesn't technically exist. I meant it in the sense of a situation that generally induces perspiration), that I approached Osmond’s book, whose
subtitle nailed me, precisely: A Guide to English for Those Who Think
They Don’t Need One. Well, I didn’t think I needed one, but if I hadn’t
read it, I never would have discovered the meaning of the word
“callipygian” (a well-formed buttocks, neither big nor wide). Nor would
I have discovered one of the wittiest, most informed, and
reader-friendly books in a genre not known for its accessibility, let
alone its entertainment value. Osmond has achieved something quite rare:
he’s written a grammar book that doesn’t shy away from the heavy
lifting of terminology and prescription while still being fun and a
little trippy.
Osmond
(whose autobiography Wet Firecrackers is a highly enjoyable prose
carnival of the bizarrely mundane) deals head on with all those terms
you’ve been forced to confront since elementary school, but his manner
of presentation is so refreshing, unorthodox, and adult that it all
suddenly seems fresh and urgent. (the “adult” part manifests itself in
the unexpectedly quirky nature of his sentence examples, such as “You
should not smoke in bed alone,” and “After his guests left and before he
went to sleep, Jack had his way with Jill, and his sleep was sound as a
result.”)
The
pattern of the book is familiar to anyone who has any formal study of
grammar, moving from parts of speech to phrases and clauses and then
sentences, culminating in larger-scale organizational tips. But before
the book proper even begins, Osmond sets the tone with a deceptively
thoughtful preface. He links linguistic facility to the arc of lasting
human achievement, even in decidedly non-literary arenas: “Were it not
for the ability of one generation of scientists to record in words the
results of their efforts as a starting point for the next, we’d still be
marveling at the wonders of carbon paper as a duplicating advice.”
This
book is filled with such quirky asides and unorthodox observations. Yet
for all its wit, it unflinchingly covers most of the hardcore
grammatical bases. Osmond knows the language, and his ability to inject
humor and anecdote into a traditionally desiccated genre makes him
something of a hero to those of us who love and are attracted to the
power of words. (A cautionary note: Osmond bravely preaches the value of
sentence diagramming– a dying art but undeniably useful – but my copy
of his book contains diagrams reprinted in such tiny font that I can
barely make them out.)
Overall,
Gordon Osmond’s So You Think You Know English deserves a place on the
shelf of everyone who values the written word, either as writer or
reader – except, perhaps, for those who equate “writing” with “texting.”
As Osmond cautions: “If you can go through life with texting as your
sole means of verbal communication, please donate your copy of this book
to your local library, assuming, of course, you know where it is.”