Author: Diana Wiley, PhD

Publisher: C4C, LLC

ISBN: 9780932898999

You may mumble to yourself, who is pondering about sex now? Are you serious! My partner is making me batty! In a new NBC poll, just over 9,000 people comprising 24% reported the pandemic outbreak had undoubtedly influenced their sex activities (28% were indifferent, and 47% stated it had touched them negatively). Some participants in the poll welcomed the distraction. In contrast, others grumbled about their misery, which contributed to less intimacy.

Dr. Diana Wiley, in the Preface to Love in the Time of Corona, points out that she always craved to pen a text embodying all she has picked up in her long career as a sex therapist.

With the coronavirus, Dr. Wiley was required to shift to video conferencing sessions with her clients. During these discussions, she started offering tips to couples as to measures they can adopt to enhance their relationships with each other while confined at home. She points out that research supports that enjoying wonderful sex can alleviate stress and anxiety-something we all need now where our lives are probably upside down. And this prompted her to write this well-timed tome.

Drawing from her personal experiences as a sex therapist and her extensive research conducted over many years, Dr. Wiley does a first-class job in offering useful instructions for how pleasurable sexual activity between partners can improve a couple’s psychological and physical health.

With the virus pandemic alive and kicking and with a lot more time together in quarantine, couples now have a great opportunity to take part in meaningful dialogues about their sex lives. Dr. Wiley’s objective, as she explains, is to provide her readers with some mechanisms to ward off their stress and soften their anxiety.

The book divides itself into eleven chapters and plunges straight to the point involving a broad spectrum of issues as learning to know your partner better, planning a date night at home, mindfulness and sex, using touch to relieve stress, revitalizing your senses, laughing and playing together, trying something new, learning more about sex, expressing gratitude, recommitting to your relationship, and online references where couples can learn about the use of cannabis where it is permitted. Interspersed among these topics are brief stories, exercises, advice and other information.

What is “cool” about the book compared to others dealing with the same subject matters is a tool Dr. Wiley introduces called the sex menu. According to Dr. Wiley, surveys have demonstrated that couples open to discussion end up having more pleasurable sex and stronger emotional bonding.

The menu comprises a basic chart that lists sexual activities and enables each person to select a yes, no, or maybe reaction to indicate their inclination for specific acts. Couples can talk openly about their emotions with a yes, maybe or no response concerning a range of sexual conduct such as hugging, light kissing, neck and shoulder rub, sucking on nipples, touching bare buttocks, touching breasts with clothes on or off, fingers in the vagina, stroking vulva, mutual masturbation, manual stimulation of the clitoris, cunnilingus, stroking the penis and several others. Dr. Wiley points out that in participating in the sex-menu exercise, couples will get more comfortable with sexual terminology, which is essential for good communication.

One of the most intriguing chapters I found was Mindful about Sex. This chapter explores mindfulness during sex and the positive benefits this can have, from intimacy to longer lasting pleasure.

The ending of the book comprises Dr. Wiley’s seven secrets for sensational sex, which boil down to taking care of yourself first, respecting boundaries, communicating openly and directly, not taking anything personally, focusing on your partner’s pleasure, expressing gratitude and letting go.

These are all briefly explored, and Dr. Wiley encourages her readers to practice these principles with their partners. As she states: “They can serve as simple touchstones to guide you in finding deeper meaning as you recommit to the intimacy and sexual abundance of your relationship.”

If you are feeling burned out during the lock down- a common feeling today, perhaps the best therapy is to pick up a copy of the highly readable and compact Love in the Time of Corona that will help you rekindle your flame. And as Dr. Wiley points out, “the material in the book can benefit couples beyond the time that quarantines are lifted. You don’t need a pandemic to reclaim your birthright to pleasure.”   Maybe we will come out of this pandemic with some skills about how to talk about sex with each other a little bit better

Follow Here to read Norm’s Interview With Dr. Diana Wiley