Reviewer Bani Sodermark. Bani has a Ph.D in mathematical physics and has been a teacher of physics and mathematics at the university level in both India and Sweden. For the last decade, her interests have been spirituality, healthy living and self-development. She has written a number of reviews on http://amazon.com. Bani is a mother to two children.
Bookpleasures.com welcomes as our guest, Melody L. Boulton, author of Amazing Adventures with Dev.
Melody has practised psychotherapy for over 30 years and been a psychological consultant to many agencies working with the elderly and death and dying. She also has a degree in nursing and worked as a hospice nurse and been in management at a private psychiatric hospital. She has been a student of the Diamond Approach Spiritual Path for sixteen years. Four years ago, she lost her 23 year old son, Devon to a rare lung disease. Her book tells of her incredible experiences with his soul after his passing.
Bani Södermark [BMS]: Hi Melody and welcome to Bookpleasures.com
Melody Boulton [MLB]: Hi Bani
BMS: When, why and how did you start writing this book?
MLB: I did not want to initially write this book as it was just too painful and then Dev and others kept encouraging, really they kept bugging me, until I accepted the truth that this story had to be told. I really accepted this because of my deep trust for Dev.
I began writing seriously, the second winter after Dev’s soul took flight. I rented a place for two months in Puerto Rico and it was there that Dev and I seriously began writing together. I would get up, walk the basically deserted beach for an hour each day. That was our sacred time when Dev floated ideas into my mind about what I was to write that day.
I felt so far away from the dramas and stressors of everyday life back home in Maine. All that complexity simply drifted away leaving my mind clear, open and receptive to our relationship.
When I returned I tried to write but it didn’t seem to flow on a daily basis as it had in PR. Therefore over the next several months I wrote in fits and starts. As I live directly on the beach I tried to continue my morning ritual of walking the beach and then settling in to write. Alas, the routine was disrupted often due to the weather in Maine, my working hours, and other impingements on my time. There is really nothing quite like a long walk on a deserted beach with perfect weather every day. That is my Puerto Rico reality.
The next winter I again went to PR for two months and Dev and I immediately moved into the flow we had developed the previous winter. When I returned to Maine that winter nothing seemed to stop the creative flow between Dev and me. The book now had it’s own life force and Dev and I were along for the ride. What fun we were having together.
BMS: You could have been seen as a mother who was lax on basic discipline. For example, when he hit you hard and you responded after he cried,saying "you were a bad mommy.".Was it because you had the mindset of being siblings in a past life?
MLB: It never occurred to me to think about past lifetimes with Dev until he was a week from leaving his body and our communications became soul-to-soul, profound and extraordinary. Until then I was Dev’s mom doing my parenting with an unusually perceptive, wise, loving and joyful son. I knew Dev was an old soul but that is as far as I took it then.
BMS: How different was your relationship with Zac and Devon? Have you felt similar vibes with Zac after Devon's transition? With other people in your life?
MLB: I have never felt the same soul-to-soul connection with any other human in my life as I have with Dev. My other relationships have mostly been fraught with conflicts, miscommunications and emotional struggles.
I really never experienced this with Dev in this lifetime. Since his lifetime has ended my experiences with him are unparalleled. My relationship with Zac is deeply connected but it is clear to me that from the very beginning of our relationship we were going to be struggling and both learning a great deal from our struggles.
Comparison is not something I choose to engage in as I see each and every relationship and interaction within relationships as unique.
BMS: (p. 6 in your book) "This may be the most enlightening and freeing gift I received from my relationship with Devon... this new awareness of myself in relation to others, continues to mature and expand". Explain in the context of your later life after Devon.
MLB: It has only been four years since Dev’s soul was released. Much of this time has been given over to the profoundly deep, painful and enlightening path of mourning and grief. As I continued down this totally unrecognizable path there arose friction, and disharmony in many of my closest relationships. This is not unusual to parents who have lost children.
During these difficult losses the gift I received from my relationship with Dev: meaning the truth that I was very capable of being in a healthy relationship without such drama carried me through these losses. Before Dev I always took the blame for my relationships when they became difficult, thinking it was because of my human flaws. Since Dev I now see more clearly that I am not to blame, only that I have been drawn to unhealthy folks time and time again. Dev’s gift allowed me to let go and feel the freedom of these burdensome difficult relationships without all the guilt.
BMS: Has ease and efficiency become a characteristic of your life as well? Any of this relates to the publication of this book?
MLB: Ease in living life has become a much more familiar state of being for me and for that I feel always guided and supported by Dev’s love, playfulness, and wisdom.
BMS: Do you believe in God and angels? I know you consider Dev as your particular angel, but do you use other spiritual help?Do you need Sonye's help any more to talk to Dev?
MLB: I do not use the word God, but substitute True Nature, The source etc. The word God has too many particular concepts attached to it for me and feels too limiting. The other spiritual guidance that comes to me comes directly from the source of creation, the life force itself. Words lose their meaning in these dimensions of reality.
MLB: Dev and I do not need any other third party to communicate, In fact sometimes they get in our way. But I continue simply because it is fun for Dev and me. Dev and I also seem to be teaching other levels of communication to Sonya as she tells to us.
BMS: How has the writing of this book redefined a)your personality b)your ongoing relationship with Dev? c)your relationship with others? d)your work as a psychotherapist?
MLB: Writing the book with Dev has not redefined any aspect of my life, in fact it has supported me in letting go of having to define, make sense of, label or in any way try to box life in. Now life lives me, not me living life: a subtle yet profound shift in awareness.
Writing this book with Dev has given us both the opportunity to finely develop and hone our capacities to be as one, two souls as one. In general my continued relationship with Dev and others offers constant opportunities to expand my awareness, everywhere at all times.
I guess that going through the greatest loss possible I now understand the impermanence of everything. Therefore words like re-define just don’t fit in my vocabulary and longer. To define is to try to bring understanding or form to that which is by its’ very nature not definable and formless.
BMS: How has your relation with your spiritual retreat group been affected by writing this book?
MLB: After completing the process of birthing our creation I experienced a new way of being at ease with human contact: be it my spiritual group, someone in the grocery store or folks close to me. I experienced a deep and pervasive relaxation knowing Dev and I had truly begun fulfilling our soul contract, that of supporting each other throughout lifetimes, in teaching together, two souls as one. I can’t think of anything more fulfilling than truly knowing your soul is on her true path. We ask ourselves, “Why am I here, what is my true purpose?”, I am fortunate enough to know the answers for this lifetime.
BMS: "Joy was an essential aspect of my own heart and soul". Explain how this has affected your life post publication of this book.'
MLB: Knowing my soul’s purpose and living that purpose brings lighthearted joy to my heart often. Knowing and experiencing Dev being with me always with his playful, joyful, love and guidance is contagious.
BMS: How was your connection with your spiritual retreat group relevant in your connection with Dev?
MLB: Had it not been for my many many years of work on my particular spiritual path I do not believe I would have opened my heart, soul and mind enough to allow our relationship to continue growing, strengthening and expanding as it has. It was clear that I had more work to do in preparation for now.
BMS: What matters most to you about this book?
MLB: That its’ messages of boundless love and it’s power to transform. The only block to these experiences is to keep your heart, mind and soul closed down. That there is so much more to life that most folks can see and how they can learn to open and see all the beauty, love and joy that lies just beyond their current vision. This is what matters, that these messages get out there to others.
BMS: Is this your first book?
MLB: Yes this is our first book. Right now I am in a rest period and whenever Dev shows me what is next I will be right there with him.
BMS: Did you hear from Devon after the book was done and in your hands?
MLB: Devon is at my side always. In fact the week the book came out he was so very excited. He came to me in three different manifestations that week alone. Making sure that the 19 traffic lights were all green one after the other when I was late for an appointment, manifesting a bright pink arch in the sky, sending me a particular song that pertained to a piece of spiritual work I had just done with my teacher. Things like that. my “Devon stories” Dev and I talk almost daily while I walk the beach. That is the time when my mind and heart are the most open and at peace.
BMS: What was the easiest part of writing this book?
MLB: The easiest, most fluid aspect of writing was when I simply opened my heart and Dev and I connected as one and the writing simply happened. It has been and continues to be an amazing adventure with Dev.
BMS: What was the hardest?
MLB: Re-living, breathing in, feeling every aspect of all the most painful, devastating, heartbreaking moments of my life.Only by fully re-experiencing each moment was I able to write the truth.
BMS: What is your focus now?
MLB: Right now is a rest period for my heart, mind and soul. Dev and I are simply being, in each moment with ease, simplicity, relaxation and of course boundless love and joy. We are both open to what is next for us and I trust Dev will let me know what that is and when that is to be.
BMS: Is there anything you would like me to ask that I haven't already?
MLB: Nothing pops into my awareness at this moment. You have asked great questions. I could speak on and on of my experiences with Dev and the most amazing part of this is that our adventures and communications and love will continue in this way until my soul transitions out of this body. When that happens Dev and I will continue our teaching, adventures, joy and love eternally and effortlessly throughout the endless realms of reality.
BMS: I know it can be hard to constantly live in the moment
MLB: No, it’s not hard it is more a matter of remembering.
MLB: Ok. This has been lovely. Speaking of my journey with Dev to someone who “Gets it” has been a joy. Thank you.
BMS: Thank you so much. I wish you good luck with your next project with Dev.
MLB: We thank you.
BMS: You are so welcome.