Author: Heather Elliott

Publisher: Shay Nou Publishing

ISBN: 9780991409525

                                              Being Real

When this book arrived in the mail, I thought I would wait a while before I took it up as I had a lot to do. But once I opened it, I just could not put it down until I had read more than half. I finished reading it in two sessions and I consider myself a slow reader.

This book has been addressed to those people whose lives have fallen into a repetitive groove in much the same way as the character played by Bill Murray in the movie “Groundhog’s Day.” Most of us recognize these syndrome, despite all the efforts exerted to the contrary, we just cannot summon the kind of change we wish to see in our day-to-day existence. It is as if we hit a “virtual ceiling”, after achieving a certain level of success, circumstances “conspire” to get us back into the same situation from where we began.

This is what the author calls the “Same Shit, Different Day” (SSDD) syndrome. In this book, she shows that there is a way out of it, as long as one is willing to do the work required to do so. This work is a process  that has been pioneered by the author and is called “Mindful Change”.

The process of Mindful Change involves identifying ourselves in the unconscious and repetitive scripts that play out as we go through our lives on automat. These scripts arise out of difficult situations that we have experienced in the past, especially as children and that we have internalized. So even when those conflicting situations are not real any more, the unconscious patterns created at the earlier stages of our development in order to cope with them, run our lives as viral programs afflicting our success.

The author goes into some detail into the how and why of the causes that give rise to faulty programming. Some of these are:

  1. a perception of lack

  2. a perception of separation from others.

The second could result in doing too much for others for fear of being seen as “selfish” by society. A third reason could arise out of a terrifying fear of being exposed for communicating our inmost thoughts due to their separative nature. A fourth reason for this virtual ceiling is a propensity for drama, which, notwithstanding the interest it generates in “reel life”, is deeply  energy consuming in “real life”, since it causes tasks to take much longer. A fifth reason is the perfection syndrome which is also run by fear, resulting in disconnection from the source of Life.

After mentioning the causes that hamper external self- development, the author presents her tried and tested remedies to counter them. These include, being first of all, aware of an element of choice involved in the situation, so that one can view it from a different and more enlightened perspective, a trick analogous to viewing the glass as half-empty or half-full. After that, she elaborates how one can rewrite the story of our lives by redefining our habits using love, not fear as a motivator. Thus we uncover the source of our power. There is also a chapter with tips on how to live a physically healthy and uncluttered life.

The good news is that you can do it.

The bad news is that nobody will do it for you.”

The author does not, in any way, depreciate the kind of effort required to rewire our brains. She emphasizes, however, that if we go in for this kind of work, we can live the life that dreams are made of.

This is a book that has been written with great conviction and is a joy to read. Many people would see their own life situation mirrored within its’ pages and also find inspiration and advice on how to change what does not suit them.


Warmly recommended.