Reviewer Michelle Kaye Malsbury:
Michelle was born in Champaign, IL. Currently, she resides in Asheville, NC
and is in her second year of doctoral studies at Nova Southeastern
University in Ft. Lauderdale with specialization/concentration in
conflict resolution and peace studies. She has over six hundred
articles published on the web and one book published thus far with
many more in the wings. Hobbies include; reading, writing, music, and
playing with her Australian Cattle Dog, Abu.
Author: Robert Weiss
Publisher: Health Communications,
Robert Weiss, LCSW,
CSAT-S, author of Sex Addiction 101, has a very well rounded
background in mental health and addiction treatment facilities and
programs. (2015, p.247-8) Some of his notable centers are; The Ranch
in Tennessee, Promises Treatment Centers in Malibu/Los Angeles,
California, The Life Healing Center in New Mexico, and The Right Step
Weiss has authored several books and articles (A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Love, and Porn Addiction; Cruise Control- Understanding Sex addiction in Gay Men; Closer Together, Further Apart; The Effect of Technology and the Internet on Parenting, Work, and Relationships; and Always Turned On- Sex Addiction in the Digital Age), served as an expert in the area of human intimacy and digital technology, and appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show! Currently Weiss is Senior vice-President of National Clinical Development for Elements Behavioral Health. For more information about this author and addiction specialist please log on to his site.
Personally, I knew that there were people addicted to sex, but had no idea that such addictions oftentimes began when these people were preteens. Several of Weiss’s examples are young boys aged 12 who began by watching porn on their computers and their addictions bloomed from there. What makes a behavior an addiction?
According to Weiss, if you or someone you know is preoccupied “to the point of obsession”…or has experienced “failed attempts to quit or cut back”…or has suffered any “negative consequences”…you may have an addiction. (2015, p.2).
Weiss lists some of the more common behaviors that can become addictions as; gambling, love, social media, spending, and video gaming. (p.6) There are some questions you can ask to determine whether or not your or someone you knows behavior is addictive; “Is it a secret, Is it abusive to self or others, Is it used to avoid a source of painful feelings, It is empty of a caring, committed relationship?” (p.13)
Weiss outlines ten signs
of sexual addiction. They begin with; “A pattern of out of control
sexual behavior, Severe or ongoing life consequences due to sexual
behavior, An inability to stop sexual behavior despite adverse
consequences and previous attempts to stop, Persistent pursuit of
self-destructive or high-risk sexual behavior to self or others,
Important social, recreational, or occupational activities are
sacrificed or reduced because of sexual behavior, Ongoing desire for
change or failed attempts to limit sexual behavior, Sexual obsession
and fantasy are becoming primary emotional coping strategies.
The amount of time spent in sexual activity or intensity of sexual experiences increases because the current level is insufficient. Severe mood changes around sexual activity, inordinate amounts of time spent obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences.” (2015, pg.33-34) Robert Weiss states that oftentimes these signs are not easy to see in self or others. There is a component of denial that helps mask this behavior in most with this type of addiction.
I am not a sex addict, but I have some friends who I believe might be based on some of their behaviors. This book was helpful in identifying those behaviors and suggesting how they may have gotten to this point. I hope they read this book and get the help they need to begin anew. If you or someone you know may have some sexual addiction tendencies this is a good read and point from which to begin seeking help from those addictions.