Reviewer & Author Interviewer, Norm Goldman. Norm is the Publisher & Editor of Bookpleasures.com.
He has been reviewing books for the past twenty years after retiring from the legal profession.
To read more about Norm Follow Here
Bookpleasures.com is
pleased to have as our guest today, Dr. Jamie Turndorf.
Jamie holds a Ph.D in Clinical Psychology and is
an internationally renowned and respected relationship therapist,
author,
advice columnist and veteran media personality.
For
three decades, countless fans have been benefiting from
Dr. Turndorf’s life changing advice via radio, TV, the Internet
and print.
Known worldwide as Dr. Love on the Web, TV, radio, and
print, she has been featured on NBC, CNN, CBS, and Fox, as well as
on Inside Edition,VH1, and many others. In addition, she has
contributed articles to WebMD and iVillage, and in Men’s Health,
Glamour, New Woman, American Woman, Cosmopolitan, and many other
major magazines and periodicals. She also writes a relationship
column focusing on conflict resolution for Psychology Today
online.
In addition, Jamie has authored Kiss Your Fights
Good-bye: Dr. Love's 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and
Rekindling Your Relationship, which was endorsed by Jack Canfield, NY
Times #1 bestselling author of the billion-dollar Chicken Soup for
the Soul book empire and Dr. John Gray, NY Times #1 bestselling
author of Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus, Make Up Don’t
Break Up: Dr. Love’s Five-Step Plan for Reconciling with Your
Ex and her most recent book, Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and
Make Peace with the Deceased.
Norm: Good day Jamie and
thanks for participating in our interview.
Why have you been
drawn to the topic of love and relationships and when did you
become interested in the topic?
Jamie: It's
said that all shrinks come from dysfunctional families, and I'm no
exception. I swear when I was still in diapers, I had already earned
an honorary Ph.D. (or should I say Pee-h.D.) in conflict
resolution
from mediating my parents fights.
But, seriously, the real reason I entered the field is because I was born 3 months early, and I spent the next 3 months of my life alone in a hospital. A psychic recently told me that my calling to connect souls was born then when I decided that I didn't want others to suffer the agonizing pain of disconnection that I felt.
Norm: Why do you believe that one out of two married couples divorce?
Jamie: As I
explain in my first Hay House book, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye, no
matter how much we love each other in the beginning of
a relationship, love isn't enough to keep our relationships alive.
This is because conflicts inevitably arise in our relationships;
and since most of us don't know how to resolve our conflicts, the
angry feelings that result from unresolved conflicts soon erode
our love. In earlier times,
divorce wasn't considered an option,
so people just stayed together and suffered. Now, people can
escape an unsatisfactory relationship through divorce, but this is
hardly a solution. Soon, we marry again. And,
conflicts erupt in
our next relationship, and then we're back to square one again.
The only solution is to learn how to resolve our conflicts once and
for all.
Norm: Where
do you get your information or ideas for your books?
Jamie: Every book I write is born out of my passion to connect souls.
For Kiss Your Fights
Good-bye, I felt compelled to bring to the world my proven
conflict-resolution method that I have tested and developed over 31
years out of my Center for Emotional Communication. Seeing that
my
conflict-resolution method effectively resolves conflict for
the majority of couples who use it, as well as resolves disputes
among friends, family members and colleagues, I felt compelled to
write the
book and share my method with the world.
Love
Never Dies is truly a labor of love in which I reveal the story of my
own amazing spiritual reconnection with Emile Jean Pin, my
beloved husband of 27 years who died of a bee sting in front of my
eyes while we
were vacationing in Italy.
For most of his
life, Jean had been one of the most famous Jesuit priests in
history. He was a religious pioneer who taught at the Vatican and
founded the Liberation Theology movement, which was designed to
fight
church oppression from within.
I, on the other hand, was
raised by two devout atheists who taught me to not believe in God
or the afterlife.
The moment Jean left his body, he began
appearing to me in spirit form. His astonishing manifestations,
often in front of witnesses, proved to me that we don't die and
that our relationships need not end in death.
My experiences
with him have led me to create a new grief therapy method that vastly
diverges from the Western approach--grieve, let go and move on, which
only leaves the bereaved at a greater loss. By contrast, my method
guides the bereaved to say hello, not good-bye!
As a
mainstream therapist, I also know that Western grief therapy
offers us no way of making peace with someone who has passed.
Since I can't think of a soul alive who doesn't harbor some
unfinished business with
someone who has passed, I developed my
Dialoguing with the Departed Technique to help people make peace
with the deceased.
As you can see, connecting souls is the
common thread.
Norm: What helps you focus
when you write? Do you find it easy reading back your work?
Jamie: People have remarked that my writing reads as though I'm speaking aloud to my
reader. I do this intentionally so that my reader feels the power
of my supportive presence. To achieve this voice, I
speak my words
aloud as I write so that I am sure the sentences sound as though I
am talking to my reader.
Norm: Does your writing career ever conflict with your career as a practicing psychotherapist?
Jamie: No, not at all. My
writing is a way for me to bring my methods to the world at large.
Not everyone can afford to see me in my office,
and my books make
my methods available to the masses.
In fact, my practice has
fueled my writing. I use my wonderful patients' case examples in all
my books.
Norm: What has
been the best part about being published?
Jamie:The best part of being published is the widening of my reach. I am passionate about helping people worldwide to fulfill our highest calling on earth, which is to perfect our ability to love ourselves and others fully.
Norm: What do you
think of the new Internet market for writers?
Jamie:In the past,
conventional publishing was the only avenue for writers to get their
words out to the public. Because it is highly competitive to be
published by conventional channels, many voices have
gone unheard.
Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, blogging and self-publishing, we
have a platform that enables everyone to publish. The Internet is a
great equalizer.
On the downside, the Internet offers a
platform for people to pummel others' ideas. I am not happy with the
bullying, scapegoating, mob violence and incivility that is tolerated
under the guise of "freedom of
speech."
Norm: What would you
say is the best reason to recommend someone to read your latest
book, Love Never Dies? As a follow up, what purpose do you believe
your book serves and what matters to you about the book?
Jamie: Love Never Dies offers hope and healing to millions of grieving people. My grief therapy method offers the first real method for reconnecting with loved ones in spirit, without needing the intervention of a medium. In addition to simply reconnecting, my Dialoguing with the Departed technique enables people to make peace at last with someone who has passed.
Norm: Can you share a
little of Love Never Dies with us?
Jamie: Love
Never Dies begins with my own story. Readers are going to be blown
away by Jean's astonishing spirit manifestations. In part two, I
dispel beliefs that may stand in the way of reconnecting. I
talk
about traditional Christian teachings that have their feet in
the middle ages, and fears of devil worship, and explain that our
loved ones in spirit are actually our gatekeepers protecting us from
any unwanted presences.
In part three, I show readers,
step-by-step, how to Create a State of Receptivity, How to Recognize
the Signs of Spirit Presence, and How to Dialogue with the
Departed to simply resume a relationship and/or make peace, if
needed.
I also explain that loved ones in spirit are waiting for us to open the door of our hearts to them. They wish to support us on the bumpy road of life, act as our guides, and assist us in achieving our own spiritual development.
Norm: How would you
respond to potential readers who might be sceptical about the
subject matter of Love Never Dies?
Jamie: I was
skeptical too!
We all know that there are so many mysteries
our sciences can't even begin to explain. The more we know, the
more we realize how little we know. All I encourage skeptical
readers to do is just reserve judgment
and read the book with an
open mind. As readers will soon discover, my husband's spirit
manifestations--often in front of witnesses--are too numerous to
be ignored. I share many mind blowing examples, and include
the
names of the witnesses.
Let me share a story about my mother,
the quintessential skeptic. The day before my husband's funeral,
my mother picked a fight with me and told me to "f"
myself. I fled the house, crying terribly. Two months later, on
Christmas eve to be exact, my mother called me and said that after
I left the house she heard a furious and loud pounding on the walls.
The pounding continued for a half-hour until she fled the house in
terror.
I said to her, "But mom, you don't believe in the
afterlife." To which she replied, "I still don't
believe. I just know what happened!"
Here's another piece
of good news for skeptics. My grief therapy method still works
even for those who don't believe in the afterlife. I have many
examples of this in the book.
Norm: Did you learn
anything from writing your book and what was it?
Jamie: Speak for the
heart. Speak the truth. Be fearless.
Norm: Do you hear from your readers much? What kinds of things do they say?
Jamie: I am experiencing a huge outpouring of gratitude and relief. My Hay House radio show audiences are so grateful that I am willing to risk myself by telling our story.
When readers and radio audiences hear me ticking off all the signs of spirit presence, suddenly, they realize that they have been receiving the same or similar signs from their loved ones. This confirmation that their loved ones are reaching out to them is so comforting and healing.
Norm: Where can our readers find out more about you and your books?
Jamie: Come visit me at ASKDRLOVE.COM. Your readers will find details there on the Free
Gift that I'm offering if they purchase now. Here's a LINK to
the
Love Never Dies book
page.
Norm:
What is next for Dr. Jamie Turndorf?
Jamie: I look forward to doing more live speaking so that I can connect with more people
face-to-face.
Norm: As this
interview draws to a close what one question would you have liked
me to ask you? Please share your answer.
Jamie: There is one thing
that I think your readers would be interested to know, and it is
message from Jean that provides biblical proof of why we are meant to
reconnect and stay connected to loved ones in spirit.
On my
first night back from Italy, as I lay alone in our bed crying, I
suddenly heard Jean speaking to me. He was quoting a passage I didn't
recognize.
The next day, I went to meet his priest to prepare
the readings for his funeral. I told the priest that Jean had been
speaking to me. The priest lifted his brow in obvious
skepticism.
Then, I told him what Jean said. The priest
blanched, crossed himself and said, "Dear Lord, Jamie. At first
I didn't believe you, but I do now! You're quoting an obscure
biblical passage from the Communion of Saints."
I was
floored. Like I said, I was raised by atheists and I never went to
church or read the bible. And, Jean and I never discussed
religion.
It took me a year to understand why Jean had chosen
to repeat this biblical passage to me.
Then it hit me!
He
was a religious pioneer in life and continues to be in the
afterlife.
He quoted the Communion of Saints to let me know
that the bible encourages us to remain in communication with loved
ones in spirit.
The Communion of Saints says that loved ones
in spirit are one with God and the saints. And, since we are supposed
to stay in communion and communication with God and the saints, we
are supposed to stay in communion and communication with loved ones
in spirit--who are one with God and the saints.
He was letting
me know that what we've been told about the afterlife is dead wrong,
if you'll pardon the pun. As Jean revealed, heaven is a state not a
place; heaven is all around us; heaven is here and now, which means
that we aren't meant to live in an emotional wasteland separated from
those we love.
This is why I have created my new grief therapy
method, so the bereaved can reconnect rather than say good-bye.
Reconnecting is the secret to transforming grief to joy.
Norm: Thanks once again and good luck with all of your future endeavors.