Love No Matter What Reviewed By Conny Crisalli of
Conny Withay

Reviewer Conny Withay:Operating her own business in office management since 1991, Conny is an avid reader and volunteers with the elderly playing her designed The Write Word Game. A cum laude graduate with a degree in art living in the Pacific Northwest, she is married with two sons, two daughters-in-law, and three grandchildren.

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By Conny Withay
Published on April 25, 2013

Author: Brenda Garrison
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 978-0-8499-4741-4

Author: Brenda Garrison
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 978-0-8499-4741-4

No parent is perfect. Our challenge is to sort out what our part has been in our children’s decisions and consider our contribution to the rocky relationship. Then we can more clearly see what our children are responsible for,” Brenda Garrison reiterates in her book, Love No Matter What – When Your Kids Make Decisions You Don’t Agree With.

At two hundred and four pages, this paperback book is targeted to both fathers and mothers of children who have chosen a different path in life that may be opposite what the parents believe, teach or want. With topics about living together before marriage, tattoos, drinking and drug abuse, it is geared toward issues with high school through young adult children.

With the assistance of her daughter Katie, Garrison starts the book with two pages of accolades, mostly from other authors or counselors and is broken down into ten chapters followed by an appendix, discussion questions, resources, notes and authors’ biographies. Notes by Katie are in a fancy, small to read font to give a young adult’s perspective on a given topic.

The first half of the book is more of a focus on the current status of the parent’s relationship with the child, bringing up past mistakes made mainly by the parent. The second half is dedicated to improve a future, healthy bond between parent and child. Both sections are filled with Biblical stories about parenting, mentioning often the prodigal son or how God loves us unconditionally.

Written through Garrison’s viewpoint of dealing with her oldest daughter’s abrupt decision to move out of the house at age nineteen, it takes the reader through the angst, anger and bitterness of a parent losing parental control. Relating to all parents who fall short from being supposedly perfect, the writer hones in on easy-to-spot problems parents make raising children.

With the three types of decisions that children make as they grown to adulthood, the parent must decide their role based on preference, foolish or immoral or illegal outcomes. She describes parent-types being Servant, Checked-Out, Gotcha!, Passive/Aggressive, Scared, Compare-and-Despair, Controlling, You’re-Ruining-My-Life and My-Way-or-the-Highway categories.

To shed ourselves from the perpetual blame and guilt of not providing the best advice, answers and attitude toward our children, Garrison reminds us we should act the same as God treats us: compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, loving kindness, patient and available. Although we can never obtain perfection, we need to speak love to our children, accept the new normal that God has allowed, forgive one another and not live in the past.

The author is still in the midst of raising her young adult daughters so maintains the mantra, “it is what it is” to get through each trial or tribulation. Although sometimes the reader may feel certain topics are to be pushed under the rug or avoided when confronting a child, she is spot on that God is in control of both parents and children in spite of both of their ongoing mistakes.

This book was furnished by BookSneeze for review purposes.

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