Today, Norm Goldman is pleased to have as our guest Ernest Quansah author of Do's & Don'ts of Relationships.

Good day Ernest and thanks for participating in our interview

Norm:

Why did you become interested in becoming a love relationship expert and how do you become one?

Ernest:

Well, I come from a twice divorced home. I know the emotional pain associated with divorce. This led me to become fascinated with love relationships. Why some work and others fail. So I decided many years ago to do something about it. This led me to counselling school. From that, I started a counselling service on the Internet, helping singles as well as couples. I absolutely loved the idea that I was able to use my talents to serve others and help them achieve love relationship success and happiness. When I look back and recall the couples I have assisted and the joy that their relationship or marriage brings them, it makes me feel that I have done something to enrich another person’s love life. That is what I am really about.

Norm:

How do you differentiate Do's & Don'ts of Relationships from the dozens of other books dealing with the same topics?

Ernest:

That is a very good question. Most how-to books on the same topic generally focus on one topic—for example, sex or conflict resolution—and base the whole book on that. Do’s and Don’ts of Relationships takes the reader from the early stages of dating and teaches him or her how to select the right person. Engaged couples who read this book will learn how to prepare to make their marriage work so that it does not become just another failed statistic. The book then teaches couples how to put together a Marriage Success Plan by following the examples in the last chapter. As well, couples learn how to thrive even in cases where their marriage fails. And in between, the book offers much good advice that singles as well as couples can learn from. I do that because I care about my readers. That is my number one concern.

Norm, most authors who write about this topic do a Google search, find out what topic people are interested in, write about it, and sell it for the sake of making money.

This is why most how-to books don’t offer much. I wanted to make sure that this book will actually help people. A book the reader can refer to as a reference guide. A book I will be proud of years to come.

Norm:

Ernest:

Norm, simply put, the breakup and the divorce rate. That is my motivation. Most people go into a love relationship without any idea what to do to make the love relationship blossom. And there is all sorts of confusing information out there. I want people to get the facts, what they need to do to find love and happiness. I love serving others and, to me, this book is my way of serving the men and women who want true love.

Norm:

Whom do you believe will benefit from your book and why? As a follow up, why do you think this is an important book at this time?

Ernest:

All adults of all races will benefit from this book whether they are single, engaged, married, or divorced. Even victims of marital abuse will benefit from this book, including those with low self-esteem problems. People who believe in online dating will also benefit greatly from this book. There is something in this book for everyone.

In answer to the second question, breakups are predicted to increase. I believe that this book is very important at this time because the advice and the information it contains is current and will help people protect their marriage—the moral fibre of our society. In addition, considering all the confusion about what makes a love relationship work, I wanted to set the record straight.

Norm:

What was the most difficult part of writing your book?

Ernest:

The most difficult part of writing this book–if anything—was putting all the information together in a manner that benefits and truly helps readers. I wanted to make sure that my readers gain something from the book so that they don’t feel like their money has been wasted. When I read through this book, I love what it has to offer. I can truly say that perhaps the most difficult part was putting together a book that I was very proud of. It took seven years to complete, but I've loved the experience.

Norm:

Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?

Ernest:

It is funny how writing works. I sojourned into writing to help others and ended up learning from the experience myself.

If there is one important thing I have learned, it's that love relationships can work and bring people joy and happiness if they are willing to do their part. Furthermore, I learned for myself that achieving a deeper, richer love relationship can be done.

Norm;

Are you working on any books/projects that you would like to share with us? (We would love to hear all about them!)

Ernest:

Thank you for asking. I appreciate that. I am currently working on one other book called A Match Made in Heaven. In this book, I talk about one man’s journey to find a wife in an environment where most marriages seem to end up in divorce. I talk about the experiences he went through, the women he dated, and which one he ended up marrying and why he selected that specific woman and not the others. It has taken me about thirteen years to compile it because it is a true story. The book in itself is done. I am waiting for the conclusion to take place, to use that as the last chapter and then publish it. It should be in bookstores sometime in 2012.

Norm:

How can readers find out more about you and your books?

Ernest:

Readers can find out more about me, my books, and other services I offer such as my dating and relationship school and my perfect match service by visiting my WEBSITE

Norm:

Is there anything else you wish to add that we have not covered?

Ernest:

There is so much I could say in an interview. However, I want to give your readers my advice. Don’t go into a relationship out of love. Go into it to get what you want. What is that? Most people want their love relationship or marriage to work and to make them happy. If your love relationship is working, it will make you happy. If you are happy, you will fall deeper in love with the partner. On the other hand, if the relationship is not working, you may become unhappy. If you are unhappy, you fall out of love. If you fall out of love, you break up. So go after what you want, which is a love relationship that will make you happy.

Dating: Select someone who is the right person for you. How? Often when a woman is asked out, she may say, “But I don’t know you.” What does that means? It means she wants assurance that the man is the right man for her. In other words, she wants a confirmation. Confirmation that she is selecting the right person is the first step in relationship success.

Next: Hook the person. People commit to something if there is an incentive in it for them. To give someone a reason not to cheat or break up with you, give the person a reason in the form of an incentive, like Mr. Borrows–in the book—did. For example, one may say something like, “I will make you the happiest man or woman in the world, and here is why.” Most people want to be happy in a relationship, so give the partner that which he or she wants—make them happy.

Breakup and Divorce Prevention—The Dove: In West African culture, we keep doves as pets. To prevent them from leaving and not coming home, we give them sugar syrup; this way when the doves leave their nest in the morning, they always return home in the evening and never leave for good. Couples should give their partner something great that gives their partners a reason to not leave the love relationship.

For example, add what is missing in the relationship. If your spouse does not cook, rather than use that as an excuse to cheat—and I know people who do—teach the spouse how to cook, or the two of you could enroll in an evening cooking class together. Doing so arouses good feelings in the person, and people respond to feelings they have inside. Make your partner feel good, and you will prevent being cheated on or divorced.

Interracial and intercultural relationships: Learn something about each other’s race. For example, if you are on a date with a Chinese woman, if she is up to forty minutes late, you show that you care about her by waiting and not complaining. And a Japanese woman will wait for her date to drive off after he drops her off. In North America, on the other hand, you wait for the woman to go into her house before driving off.

Perfect match: This is when the couples has the same values and vision and are moving in the same direction. It is called a perfect match or level three relationship, meaning the couple is moving in the same direction. I talk about this in my other book How to Identify Your Soulmate, which can be found on my WEBSITE

Marriage: Like I said in the book, if you are engaged or married, put together a well thought out success plan to keep your relationship strong. For example, determine how to fix deficiencies that might arise during the marriage—such as, how would both of you resolve conflicts effectively instead of yelling or blaming each other?

Have an exit strategy: Sometimes, despite your best effort, the marriage may not work. Without an exit strategy, the victim of the breakup loses. During divorce, women often lose the most—especially single mothers.

So have a separate financial identify—a separate bank account. Without this, if divorce occurs, the victim will be reluctant to leave.

The problem with that is, now the balance of power will be shifted to the partner who wants the divorce because during the period he or she decided on the divorce, he or she could start taking money from the joint account and putting it away so that after the separation, he or she has something to live off. This leaves the other person in a very difficult position.

Norm

Thanks again, and good luck with all of your future endeavors.

Click Here To Read Norm's Review of Do's & Don'ts of Relationships

Click Here To Purchase Do's And Don'ts of Relationships: Nine Steps to a Deeper, Richer Love Relationship (Volume 2)