Author: Lois Meltzer
ISBN:  978-0-615-16089-4

Click Here To Purchase The Murderous Urges Of Ordinary Women

Every once in a great while a book comes along that speaks to you as if it was your soul mate.  For me, being a lover of sarcasm and all things humorous, this was that book.  Just opening the box and seeing the cover made me burst into hysterical laughter, when I focused on the famous painting American Gothic with mom wearing shades and holding a shotgun.

Four friends:  Janet, Ellie, Carole, and Sandi, are at the age of being ignored.  No longer are they looked at by others – they are “past their prime,” so to speak, and the world around them seems to find them invisible.  Such as:  the cell phone users who sit beside them and scream into their phones as the friends are trying to eat; the snooty little children and their blonde moms who steal parking spaces and look down on the group as if they simply don’t count anymore.  Well…these four friends have decided that they DO count; they’ve also come to the conclusion that being invisible definitely has one wonderful factor; if you’re not noticed by anyone…you can get away with anything!

And that is how we begin.  The characters are speaking to a young woman named Melissa Crane who is writing a book on post feminist feminism.  They are telling her of the moment when they realized that invisibility could come in handy.  They were eating at Cap’n Ahab’s – a place where the restrooms are designated as ‘Gulls’ and ‘Buoys,’ and the tanks of doomed lobsters are all around.  A man sits down at the table beside the friends and begins to cuss into his cell phone – not caring whether or not the ladies want some peace.  When he gets up to use the restroom, one of the friends takes his cell phone and throws it into one of the tanks.  (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to do that with a cell phone.)  This is their first “crime.”

Ellie is my favorite character.  She has a meditation teacher who tries to calm her when she runs up against smarmy little people who have no class.  She is in love with Ramon – who is a fall-down funny guy who wants nothing more than to help his lady love with bright orange hair to bring down everyone who is downright tacky in the world. 

With Ellie and her friends, we are brought through many stories that describe their crime spree.  From the crash of a movie icon named Lex Viper; to a plastic surgery infomercial, which was so entertaining that I laughed until I cried.  From a kidnapping that included everything from Dennis Melnick, a geeky birdwatcher who caught some high-ranking officials in flagrante delicto – to a pack of killer salamanders; the mob; and the list goes merrily on.

If you’re looking for a funny read where you will turn the pages and nod your head – seeing as that you face the same “types” every day of your life – this is the book for you.  “Discover Your Inner Vigilante 101” is THE class that all of us (the ones who actually get it) should take.  The publisher that printed this novel is called Certain Age Press – Books for women of a certain age and the people who love them.  I am definitely one of the people who love them!

 Click Here To Purchase The Murderous Urges Of Ordinary Women