Reviewer Amy Lignor: Amy is the author of a historical fiction novel entitled The Heart of a Legend, and Mind Made, a work of science fiction. Presently, she is writing an adventure series set in the New York Public Library, as well as a teen fiction series, The Angel Chronicles. She is an avid traveler and has been fortunate to have journeyed across the USA, where she has met the most amazing people, who truly bring life and soul to her books. She lives in the Land of Enchantment (for now) with her gorgeous daughter, Shelby, her wonderful Mom, Mary, and the greatest friend and critic in the entire world - her dog, Reuben
Author: Adam Selzer
The sarcasm and wit in every sentence of this book is truly remarkable
Author: Adam Selzer
Ah...high school. Remember those days? Best friends, rock concerts, parties, the prom, a boyfriend who's kind, sweet, stunning, and smells of formaldehyde? Yes, I said it. This is one of those hilarious books that are being born in the world of YA publishing that's getting more popular by the moment; the world of vamps, tramps, and dead guys who go bump in the night.
Our main character is an eighteen-year-old senior by the name of Algonquin. Some of her friends call her Alley the Ice Queen of the Vicious Circle. The Ice Queen title comes from the fact that she can't stand most people. She is living in a small town in Iowa and is literally chomping at the bit to get the heck out of her small, boring town and head to college in Seattle. The Vicious Circle is the table that she and her friends sit at during lunchtime at school. They run the school's online newspaper, and they are always willing to give their views on the "creepy" spooks that they have to share their world with. Vamps are the major thing in town. Vamps (probably because of Meyer's darling Edward) are the end all and be all for high school girls. Chicks not only want to date them, they want to sign a contract so that when they turn eighteen they can become the vamp's blood-thirsty girlfriend for life. Now, why are these "otherworldly" beings living in the public eye and going to school? Because a huge corporation called Megamart (think, Walmart) was using zombie slave labor to run their department stores across the country. They were used as stockroom slaves, and the vamps got upset, went to Congress about the shoddy treatment, and won the right for all beings such as zombies and vamps to live unthreatened among the "real, live" people. In fact, there is a vamp named Will who prides himself on being a hero. He will also do anything to make Alley his lifetime companion because of her extremely rare blood type.
One evening, Alley and her friends go to a local club. Alley is doing a review for the paper about how completely horrible the live band is going to be that night. The vamps have no beat and no style, but halfway through the show a tall, quiet young man reaches for the microphone and belts out a Cole Porter tune. Now, Cole Porter is Alley's absolute favorite, so her skin begins to tingle as she listens to his breathy voice sing the song just for her. His name is Doug, and when he belts out the sultry tune, Alley can hear the birds fly, the angels sing, and screams out Holy Shlabotnick! inside her own brain. Now, THIS is the man that has been missing all her young life. Finally, for the first time, Alley is truly head over heels in love.
After a few wonderful dates with Doug, Alley begins to hear the whispers all around her; the popular people who used to find her brutal sarcasm mean and heartless are now smiling at her in the hallway and patting her on the back. Soon the information gets to her. Doug's skin is a pasty grey for a reason. There is also a very important reason as to why he has to take medicine every four hours, and can only sing one or two songs a night before he is at death's door. Of course, as the title states, the poor guy is already past death's door and trying with all his might to live a few precious moments that were taken from him by a brutal accident.
The sarcasm and wit in every sentence of this book is truly remarkable. I was laughing right along with all the characters AND learning some lesser known facts such as: Lutherans take longer to become zombies than other religious denominations; marrying a post-human and converting is a great way to deal with issues of birth control and teen drinking; and, the difference between dating a zombie and a vamp is much like dating a dentist versus a doctor. Alley is the girl who won Doug's decomposed heart, and it is truly a great comic ride to watch her come to terms with her future.