Today, Norm Goldman Publisher & `Editor of
Bookpleasures.com is pleased to have as our guest, Gemini Adams
author of Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift in Goodbye.
Gemini is a British Grief Expert, and she helps families to overcome
and prepare for loss.
Good day Gemini and thanks for participating in our interview
What is a grief expert and how do you become one?
A grief expert is someone who has studied the subject extensively,
worked with hundreds of people who are coping with loss so they are
armed with a breadth of experience, or someone who is judged by their
peers to have specialist and cutting-edge knowledge on the subject or
has even been given awards for their work.
My experience with grief began when my parents got divorced, and has continued throughout my life as I lost my mother to cancer, both sets of grandparents and a few friends. But it wasn't until I began researching the book that I took my personal experience and turned it into a profession. I trained with CRUSE, which is the UK's leading bereavement care organization, and have since interviewed and worked with hundreds of people who've both been bereaved or experienced grief as a result of divorce, a break-up or some other kind of loss.
I must have read over a hundred books on the subject and read
countless articles, periodicals as well as watching any film I could
find that dealt with death and grief. It's one of the reasons I
included such an extensive section on recommendations in the book, to
help other professionals. I was also awarded the prestigious Winston
Churchill Fellowship for my work. Now its my pleasure to be
able to share this knowledge, both with my clients, and with a wider
audience through my classes, client coaching and my written
How did you decide you were ready to write Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift in Goodbye?
I began working on the book over 8 years ago, but I was still
studying and didn't consider myself a writer at the time. It took
four years of almost full-time research, the award of the Winston
Churchill Fellowship, and an awful lot of interviews before I felt
sure that I could sit down and write something that would make a
genuine contribution to the world. Once I reached that point, which
was about 18 months ago, the content came quite easily.
Whom do you believe will benefit from your book and why do you think this is an important book at this time?
I hope that millions of people will benefit from this book. Anyone
who reads it and follows the suggested advice will save their family
members a great deal of heartache and pain. However, I believe there
are certain groups who absolutely must read this book: moms, dads,
the terminally-ill, grandparents, and anyone who works in a high-risk
profession, like the military, or emergency services. What they can
learn from this book will transform their long-term view of caring
for their family from beyond the grave, while those who are
struggling to come to terms with the end-of-life will find genuine
comfort in the practical advice on how to use their remaining time
wisely, and those in the high-risk field can do something to assuage
the guilt they often hold over the life-threatening element to their
I think it's extremely important that we start to look at death in a different way. By pretending it won't happen we lose out on this wonderful opportunity we all have to realize the gift in goodbye. Because we have such a massive aging population (77million boomers in the USA) and so little knowledge about what to do for them or their families, I believe this book has come at just the right time.
What was the most difficult part of writing your book?
There were two ongoing challenges. The book is very emotional in
parts because I provide a very candid account of the struggles I had
in light of my own loss. So, one of the challenges was keeping my
keyboard dry as their were lots of tears when I delved back into past
memories, like Mom's Celebration of Life and how impossibly difficult
I found the early years after she died. The other challenge was
deciphering what research needed to be kept and what could be left
out. I collected a mass of information during those four years,
obviously it couldn't all be included, so it was a tough call knowing
what was essential. The good thing is that what I left out of the
book I still use with my clients and in my classes.
What was one of the most surprising things you learned in writing your book?
That I had it in me to finish a book! Not an easy task, and my
other book, The Top 100 Recipes for Happy Kids was a very
different project. I also learned so much about other people it was
wonderful: Those who shared their stories with me, the professionals
I interviewed, and those who participated in the research. I'm very
grateful to all of them for what they contributed both to my book and
my life experience.
How would you respond to potential readers who might be turned off about the subject matter of the book? As a follow up, how has the feedback been so far?
Don't be scared! Everyone who has read the book so far, including
the sceptics, non-spiritual, death-denying, youth-loving,
age-avoiding, even the (supposedly) totally unemotional crowd of male
lawyers, bankers and asset planners, have all commented on the
inspirational, emotional, and educational journey they experienced
when reading Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift in Goodbye.
They've all shed a tear or two, and most have been moved to action:
even a 4 year old boy who saw the book trailer, apparently he's been
saying, "you have to write a love letter before you die" to
his dad ever since!
What has been your overall experience as a published author?
It's been great. Still, it's hard work. I do a lot of work
promoting the book, writing articles and giving talks. The book is
only the beginning!
Where can our readers find out more about you and Your Legacy of Love: Realize the Gift in Goodbye?
They can visit the site, http://www.realizethegift.com to
find hundreds of links to great resources that will help those coping
with a loss, or those who are looking for ways to plan ahead for the
worst. They can also find the book or look for it in local
bookstores, and also on Amazon.
What is next for Gemini Adams and is there anything else you wish to add that we have not covered?
I'm slowly starting to work on my next book! It deals with the
broader experience of grief and how we can recover in a healthy way.
In the meantime, I'm still busy with clients, classes, coaching, and
trying to sneak off for a hike, or a few hours in the sun every
Thanks once again and good luck with all of your future endeavors.