Authors: Ann Demarais, Ph.D., and Valerie White, Ph.D.

Publisher: Bantam; 2005; paperback

ISBN-10:0553382012:   ISBN-13: 978-0553382013

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The impressions we leave on others – especially first impressions – are more powerful than we realize, according to Ann Demarais, Ph.D., and Valerie White, Ph.D., psychologists and authors of First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You. As founders of First Impressions, Inc., a New York-based consulting firm, the authors have coached hundreds of high-powered clients through a variety of nerve-jangling social situations, from job interviews to blind dates.

Dividing a “successful first impression” into seven easy steps, the book shows us how to navigate any type of social encounter with style and grace. The subject is timely in today’s nomadic world – and especially crucial to graduates competing in a tight job market.

“For centuries, people stayed in the communities in which they were born,” Demarais and White explain. “They formed relationships, socialized, and conducted business with people they knew their whole lives. Now, however, we live in an age in which people move to new houses and cities, change jobs, make new friends, and form new relationships at a rapid rate.”  

So, how is it that some people make a dazzling first impression while others make us want to run for cover? 

“There are individual differences in what people like and seek out in others,” the authors admit. “But there are ‘universals’ – elements of personal style that are broadly more appealing than others.”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or Miss Manners to figure out that most people enjoy connecting with others who put them at ease. Most of us understand that boasting about our credentials or passing gas in public can be off-putting.  But there are other “universals” we tend to overlook. 

Consider body language, for instance. Smiling, shaking hands firmly, maintaining eye contact, mirroring your companion’s facial expressions, and leaning forward while listening carefully can help you win friends and impress your superiors. And, as the authors point out, “your moods change how people feel about themselves and how they feel about you.” A lousy mood, no matter how subtle, can impact a whole roomful of people. So, don’t forget to remove the chip from your shoulder before you leave the house.

Laced with dozens of invaluable social tips, First Impressions reminds us that there isn’t a single “correct” first impression or one “right way” to communicate. A good first impression, the authors advise, is one that reflects the real you, your best self – and is never an impersonation of somebody else. This is required reading for everyone who wants to succeed in business or social situations.

The above review was contributed by:  Cindy La Ferle: Cindy's articles, reviews, and essays have been published in the Christian Science Monitor, Reader's Digest, Literary Mama, MetroParent, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Writer's Digest, and many other regional and national publications.