Author: Amy C. Baker

ISBN: 0781442621

The following review was contributed by: Sue Vogan: To read more of Sue's reviews Click Here

Amy C. Baker captures what it's like to care for and lose a parent. In part one, Ms. Baker brings the "Pandora's mythological package" to the table. She claims that commonly there are "shattered hearts and broken relationships" in families. These bumps and bruises seem to be placed in, what she lovingly calls, our "soul's attic" when we grow up and have lives of our own. When we are faced with caring for our parents, "cataclysmic events" may open Pandora's box - old wounds or baggage from childhood.

She moves on to explain how important it is to "accept our parents as real people" and "if there's unfinished business, emotional baggage, and/or resentment, it's critical to deal with it now. Quite literally, there are no second chances." The author explores spiritual ways to deal with whatever has been stored in our attic - for if we do not, the opportunity will be forever lost.

Preparing to lose earthly parents, Ms. Baker finds comfort through her "heavenly daddy" His words consoled and reassured Amy, letting her know that she would always be a precious child. Planning, in the next chapter, doesn't mean that everything will go smoothly. Talking to parents about wills and other legal issues to medical care and material things may be uncomfortable. But, Ms. Baker's expertise walks us through the process -- in her shoes, bringing attention to details that we may miss.

Most caregivers forget - to take care of themselves. Ms. Baker uses journaling as therapy and "time away" to refresh -- wonderful reminders for all of us during stressful times. Her faith is so strong that she found solace in the Faith Chapel - "resting, praying and basking in the quiet knowledge that God was really in control." We may get so wrapped up in the care of a parent that it would be easy to forget what we need. God is there, if we remember to call on Him, to make sure we have what we need to get through it all.

Preserving the past is important and as Amy Baker states, "there is always a tale to be told." She found that in order to let go, she had to understand -- with pictures, "sweet and bittersweet memories," and her family's history. With this, her course was plotted -- a journey that leads to closure.

We learn that passing from one life to the next is work and "how you are in life is how you are in death." This chapter deals with the end and in it, you may find yourself filled with joy, sorrow, or laughing out loud or reaching for a tissue to wipe the tears. It's the journey all of us will take -- the journey into death. For some, it's a bumpy ride - hoping that the dying will rally or the dying fighting the pull to go. For Amy, the end came after she decided to leave her mother's side. Her mother appeared to her, in her mind's eye, "dressed in white, with long gray hair." After all Amy had been through and as prepared as she could be, she "was still in shock." She suddenly found her grief taking "a back seat" as there were calls to make and plans to carry out.

Amy C. Baker involves the reader with her personal slow dance at death's door, recounting each maneuver as the melody continues to change. From preparing for, to switching the many hats that children of aging parents must wear, to the eulogy and closure, Ms. Baker shares her struggles -- keeping God as her guide. We should all be grateful that Amy chose to share her story.

The websites and recommended reading lists that the author provides are extremely helpful. This book is highly recommended for any adult who has or may be facing the inevitable.