Click Here To Purchase From Amazon Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir

Today, Norm Goldman, Publisher & Editor of Bookpleasures.com is pleased to have as our guest, Carol D. O’Dell, author of  Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir.

Norm:

Could you briefly tell us about your book Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir?

Carol:

Mothering Mother is an honest look at what caregiving does to your life, your head, your relationships and your perception of who you are. I wrote Mothering Mother in “real time,” over the two years I cared for my mother in my home—while raising children, juggling a home, laying down a career, and attempting to stay married during this challenging time.

Norm:

Why did you feel compelled to write this book?

Carol:

I wrote Mothering Mother as an act of survival. I wrote it because most of the caregiving related books I found were medically based and rarely touched on the personal ramifications as we come back together as family. I was a healthy, active vibrant 39 year-old when I chose to care for my mother full time. I still had (and have) a mind, body, heart, intellect and creative spirit that needed challenging. I believe that the monotony of caregiving is even more detrimental than the physical demands.

Norm:

What was the most difficult thing for you about writing your book? What obstacles did you have in trying to tell your story?

Carol:

Of course, I had to come to grips with “what will my mother/family/neighbors think of me. After deciding that Mothering Mother could do more good than harm, and could help  other caregivers feel less alone, to be able to laugh and cry and accept their lives—and have hope—well, I was able to let go of what others thought of me. In writer terms, deciding to go with the vignette style of writing (since caregivers are exhausted and are constantly interrupted,) and creating brief stories that would still fit into an overall story arc was a bit of a challenge, but honestly, this book went together easily. Once you have a purpose things seem to fall in place.

Norm:

What has been your overall experience as a published author?

Carol:

Being an author in the Internet age is a challenge! There’s so much to do, but there are also more avenues to spread the word than ever before. Meeting and sharing with other caregivers is an honor both online and in person. I have received some of the most tender, honest, and appreciative emails and letters. I see myself in them. I see their desperation. I’m glad I can help.

Norm:

Whom do you believe will benefit from your book and why? Mothering Mother is about life.

Carol:

Mothering Mother is about staying alive in a challenging time. It’s about our lives, our beliefs, our relationships, and many readers are neither caregivers (yet) or females (many caregivers are male, or young, and are caring for sisters, spouses, grandparents, friends or lovers) have read my book and gleaned something from it. Learning how to love ourselves, and our loved ones, accepting who we are—who they are is important for each of us.  

Norm:

Do you feel that writers, regardless of genre owe something to readers, if not, why not, if so, why and what would that be?

Carol:

Interesting word—owe. Sounds like a “dirty” caregiving word—like duty.  Whom do we owe? Ourselves. We owe it to ourselves to tell our truths. To be forthright, to strive for our best, to give something of ourselves whole-heartedly. I love the quote, “Discipline follows passion.” Perhaps “Integrity trumps duty” might be appropo.

Norm:

Can you tell us how you found representation for your book? Did you pitch it to an agent, or query publishers who would most likely publish this type of book? Were there any rejections? Did I self-publish?

Carol:

 I held out for a traditional publisher even though it would have been perfectly acceptable in my field of health/nonfiction to have self-published. I was a writer before caregiving, and will continue to write in both caregiving areas and many other genres. I wanted to establish myself as an author, not simply a caregiver who wrote a book. It took about a year and a half to find an agent after I finished my book, and then another nine months to find a publisher. It was published nine months later—much like having a baby.  

The NY agents I had queried told me “caring had been done already.” Obviously not, since it’s made a huge impact in the news this last year. It’s not going to be “done” either, since those over 85 are the largest growing segment of our population—and elder care is not the only kind of caregiving there is.

Norm:

Will there be any unique ways you'll be marketing your book that is different from how others authors market their books?

Carol:

I speak to a lot of caregiving; Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, baby boomer, sandwich generation-ers, as well as the medical and professional community to help them better understand what caregivers face. The opportunities seem almost endless since most of us will eventually give some form of care to others.

Norm:

What do you think of the new Internet market for writers?

Carol:

It’s daunting and exhilarating! There are so many opportunities and so much to do. Most days, I wish I had eight arms (and eight brains). I do think it’s still a little unwieldy. We have to learn how to be not only efficient, but effective. My greatest challenge is not the Internet, but balancing a healthy lifestyle and relationships. It’s too easy to work all the time—ala Internet.

Norm:

How can readers find out more about you and your endeavors?

Carol:

Continue to visit my  WEBSITE  and blogs. My prequel, Said Child is under consideration at my publisher’s now. It’s about being adopted at age four by a couple, in their mid-fifties-- my adoptive mother, a Pentecostal minister—and then my search for my birth family after I turned eighteen. It’s about belonging, family, faith, and redemption. I also have a novel that I’m very excited about—White Iris, it’s about obsession and art, and becoming authentic.  I also do a lot of television and radio work, so check my events schedule to see if I might be in your town—or on the news!

Norm:

Thanks once again and good luck with all of your future endeavors.

Carol:

Thank you so much, Norm, for this great interview. Please let your audience know that they can contact me via email. (writecarol@comcast.net)

I would love to hear from them.  

The above interview was conducted by Norm Goldman, Publisher & Editor of Bookpleasures.com

Click Here To Purchase From Amazon Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir