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The term “mommy wars” was coined by Child magazine in the 1980s.  While some feminists dismiss the "wars" as a media fabrication, others claim the battles are still smoldering in offices and suburban neighborhoods, pitting mothers who left the workforce against mothers who didn’t.

 

According to Leslie Morgan Steiner, the mommy wars are real – and they’re not over yet. But she’s attempting to call a truce in her new book, Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families. 

 

An executive at The Washington Post and mother of three, Steiner commissioned 26 mothers to write candidly about their careers and parenting choices.  Ranging in age from 25 to 72, Steiner’s contributors represent a cross section of lifestyles: one-third work full-time, another third work part-time, and one-third do not work outside the home.

 

Now available in paperback, the book includes an essay by Pulitzer-prize winner Jane Smiley, who recalls how she tried to balance career and motherhood in the early years of the feminist movement. Iris Krasnow, who is credited for launching the stay-at-home trend with her controversial best seller, Surrendering to Motherhood, muses on her decision to leave her successful journalism career to raise four sons. Also included is a poignant essay by Lizzie McGuire creator Terri Minksy, who traveled 3,000 miles away from home and family to work in a Los Angeles television studio.  

 

While Steiner aims for journalistic balance, her collection is weighted with media professionals who live in affluent areas and can afford to hire nannies. Her platform would have had more impact had she included more viewpoints from middle-class and underprivileged moms who must work overtime to earn groceries, school tuition, and health insurance.   

 

Regardless, Steiner is clear on where she stands:  She has a successful career outside the home and she thrives on it. She’s equally honest about her struggle to make peace with other women whose parenting choices are at odds with her own. As she notes in her introduction, she notices the strain between stay-at-home moms and working moms every day when she picks up her kids from school.  She hopes the dialogue in her book will help end what she calls a national “catfight.”

 

“The two groups misunderstand and envy each other in the corrosive, fake-smiling way we women have perfected over the years,” Steiner admits.  “Motherhood in America is fraught with defensiveness, infighting, ignorance, and judgment about what’s best for kids, family, and women.”

 

Reading Steiner’s book, I’m reminded there are no pat answers -- no one-size-fits-all childcare arrangement -- for every family in America. And whether she works or not, every young mother we know needs our respect and support as we strive to improve the quality of life for all American families.