ISBN: 0-8007-5948-6

The following review was contributed by: Helen Kaut: To read more of Helen Kaut’s Reviews Click HERE

Conceiving children is fairly easy- raising them to become decent and friendly citizens is a more complicated matter. Modern parents often struggle, overwhelmed by the advice they are given. In Britain, more and more children and teenagers are being issued with Anti-Social-Behavior-Orders (ASBOS) as their parents are either unable or indifferent to disciplining them. Television programs like the British import “Supernanny” show that there is a huge demand for help and advice for despairing parents, driven to their wit’s end. In her book “Taming the Family Zoo”, parent of three Donna Jones, addresses the most common parenting issues such as how to teach basic manners, how to behave at the table and how to behave with adults.

Her book is designed as a six-week course and divided into two parts. The first part titled “Training the trainer-You” explains the importance of teaching your child manners and respect, the first principle of parenting: unconditional love for your children, and treating your child with respect.

She then lists typical parents under the chapter “How to raise a brat”. These include the threatening and inconsistent parent, the overly permissive parent and the parent who is in complete denial of their own culpability.

Jones stresses that the most important thing next to unconditional love for your child is simply to be one step ahead of her/him, be proactive and teach your child manners before he/she can misbehave.

This is done according to Jones in four steps: rehearsing different situations in role plays, reminding them of what they have previously learned, reinforcing what has been taught by using praise and reflecting on your children’s behavior. Discussing other children’s behavior can also be useful. Positive reinforcement of good manners is as important as being consequent when your child misbehaves. Jones points out that protecting the child from undesirable consequences will stunt its emotional and social growth as in real life they won’t be protected when they have done something wrong.

The first part finishes with a chapter on how to teach your child to be less self-centered and more interested in the needs of others. According to Jones it is important for your child’s development to learn how to be more selfless and how as a parent you need to have a look at your own behavior first. Parents are mainly advised to resist spoiling their offspring but instead teaching them to share and take in turns.

The second part of the book forms the actual six-week course and in each week new behaviors are implemented. Week one deals with basic manners such as saying please and thank you, hygiene, behavior with adults, and other children and with strangers. Week two concentrates on introductions to other children and adults and how to listen and communicate. Week three concentrates on table manners, week four on phone manners, week five on how to attend/or throw a party and the final week goes into detail of teaching the parents to teach their child how to make friends.

The final chapter explains at what age each of these new behaviors should be taught and the book concludes with frequently asks questions.

Jones’ advice is based on common sense. She uses everyday examples of situations with her own children and those she has observed with other parents and their children to illustrate her points.

As she is coming from a Christian background references to the Bible and religion are part of the book, however these are sparsely used and non-religious parents might just ignore the bit on praying with your child or reading the Bible. Recommended to struggling parents who can’t see the wood for trees.