Author:  Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.

 ISBN: 0-8007-1893-3

While it is generally known that divorce rates in North America are staggeringly
high, couples continue to make plans for lifelong commitments, sometimes heading
blindly into an emotional minefield. But you don't have to head into the unknown
without some tools to help you cope. By identifying key factors that lead to the
breakdown of a marriage and eliminating them from your relationship, you can
grow old with the partner you love.

'I Promise You' is designed to prepare engaged couples for a lasting marriage.
According to author and marriage counsellor Willard Harley, the key is making
four promises: to care for, protect, be honest and spend time with each other.
Each promise is examined in depth in separate parts of the book."

When these four promises  are kept, they create and sustain the feeling of
love," Harley says. "If you continue to keep them, you'll be as much in love
throughout your entire marriage as you are now and on your wedding day. But if
you stop - as many couples do after marriage - your love will be lost and your
marriage will be threatened."

At the end of each section, Harley provides discussion questions for couples to
explore and share with each other. There is also an extensive section at the
back of the book where couples can fill out a recreational enjoyment inventory;
questionnaires regarding emotional needs, love busters and personal history;
agreements to meet important emotional needs and overcome love busters and a
graph and worksheet to plan time for undivided attention. Harley says couples
must be able to handle "love busters" in order to survive. These incidents or
behaviours occur on a regular basis and make partners unhappy. They include
selfish demands, disrespectful judgements, angry outbursts, dishonesty, annoying
habits and independent behaviour. Once they are identified, they must be
eliminated and overcome.

Harley has some practical advice, which, if applied, should be extremely
beneficial in relationships. His advice makes sense and should be incorporated
into pre-marital counselling sessions. Before making such a binding commitment,
it is important to explore your needs, desires and priorities. Taking the time
to read this book, explore its questions and fill out the quizzes will certainly
not hurt a relationship and it could be a great help. The author, who says he
has been happily married to his wife for more than 40 years and has been a
licensed psychologist since 1975, claims to have seen the benefits firsthand.
When there are so many obstacles facing couples, it doesn't hurt to have a
strategy to overcome them.

The above review was contributed by:  Mary Simmons:  Writer, Journalist and budding Author: Click Here To Read Mary's Reviews