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Knowledge Base .: Archives Fiction and Non-Fiction Reviews .: Humor .: Real Men Don't Apologize

Real Men Don't Apologize

Author: Jim Belushi

ISBN: 1-4013-0182-7

The following review was contributed by: Sue Vogan: To read more of Sue's reviews Click Here

Jim Belushi is a celebrity name that most everyone is familiar with. He has starred in movies, television shows, performed on stage, and is the voice of animated characters. Born in Chicago, June 15, 1954, it is no wonder Mr. Belushi's current project, "According to Jim," is centered in his birthplace. Belushi grew up in Wheaton, Illinois, but currently lives with his wife Jennifer and children in Los Angeles.

“Real Men Don’t Apologize” is set up in three sections. It’s a must read for many reasons. My reason was because it was on the available list. However, just a few pages into it, my reason changed. Now, it was because I always knew that Jim Belushi was funny and this book was proving to be insightfully hilarious.

Belushi's "Real Men Don't Apologize" is introduced by an admission that he had once been a loser. And "no one remembers a loser." He had had peaks and valleys in his career and then, his brother died. He felt that his "family and (his) life were falling apart" and he "couldn't stop the downward spiral." By the time he was in his late thirties, he had already had two failed marriages, a son he "barely knew," and "a career circling the drain."  He claims that his "confidence was shot," his "self-esteem was at an all-time low," and he says, "just to fuck with me even more, God started thinning my hair."

Today, Belushi confesses that he is married to a woman he loves, has “an amazing relationship” with his son, and two more kids that he “adores.” To top it all off, he is playing a part that he loves and that “the public seems to really enjoy” in According to Jim (ABC). He offers advice to other men, plainly stating that men are “woefully outmatched by woman.” This is advice that he has collected from other men -- his friend Stevie, Mike Ditka, a cousin Gus, and others he has come into contact with throughout his life.

Book One, Chapter I is a brief quiz to see where you stand as a man -- “one point for every correct answer.” Question one and two deal humorously with a man‘s genitalia -- seek privacy before attempting to answer unless you’re an exhibitionist. Multiple-choice questions three through twelve are a little tougher, but Belushi offers what should be the correct response to each and the reason it should be your answer.

Further into the chapter, Belushi discusses what a man is, a boot camp (where you can learn some real man things), and subjects that all men should be familiar with (meat, war, sports, television...just to name a few).

Book II starts off with another quiz -- to see if you, the man, are ready to date. Chapter two starts off with the sweetest statement a man could possibly make, “my wife, Jenny, is the most beautiful woman on earth.”  This is where I stop reading and shove the book at my husband‘s direction. If a little “kissing my wife’s ass” is good for Jim Belushi, then it’s more than satisfactory for my husband.

Continuing on, before my husband could read any further, Belushi suggests the man find a comfortable place (I didn’t know we women were so complicated). Next, he tells the man that it’s okay to think of yourself as a “product” because women like shopping don’t you know. Belushi even gives you “the five worst lines in history.” And, of course, what would a be-a-man book be without the sex? Everything from getting the phone number to the act itself -- even a “Jim’s sex glossary.”

You won’t want to miss the are-you-ready-for-a-long-term-relationship chapter. Another helpful quiz with a skip-the-next-chapter if you are having “consistent, mutually satisfying sex with your girlfriend (and only your girlfriend).” If you still need some advice or your girlfriend isn’t the only one, the next chapter is for you. After this chapter you know how to be the boyfriend but, as Belushi says, “the book is paid for and there’s no ‘I’m having sex with my girlfriend’ rebate.”

Jim Belushi is well known for his sarcastic wit. “Real Men Don’t Apologize” is another extension of his humorous side that you won‘t want to miss.

 

 

 

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