Click Here To Purchase Meet Delaney

Today, Norm Goldman Publisher & Editor of Bookpleasures.com is excited to have as our guest, Jackie Mahaney author of Meet Delaney.

Jackie is a dating and relationship journalist as well as an author. She writes about life's personal relationships with honesty, integrity and of course, humor!

Good day Jackie and thanks for participating in our interview.

Norm:

What is a dating and relationship journalist and how do you become one?

Jackie:

I am a journalist with a focus on relationships.  Primarily, I write about romantic relationships and the frustrations that men and women experience while trying to live lives together in unison.  I also write a lot of articles with a focus on single women.  For the first time in history, there are more single women than those that are married.  Fifty one percent of all women in the United States are single and their unique life experiences are paving the way for women all over the world.  Now, more than ever, being single is a lifestyle of choice.

Norm:

What do you believe are the five most prevalent reasons why couples break up?

Jackie: 

#1 False expectations- Most people believe that you fall in love and live “happily ever after.” That initial feeling of desire and interest in someone produces wonderful feelings in our hearts, minds and bodies.  When this wears off- and it always does… people start finding fault with the relationship instead of being willing to push it to the next level.  They break up and return to a search for that “feeling” again.  This becomes a vicious cycle and leaves people disillusioned and alone.

#2. It’s more socially acceptable to be single.  Even if you are married with children, the golden rule of thumb these days is, “If you’re not happy, leave.”    Couples, especially with children, used to make more of a valiant effort to stay together because they didn’t want to go against the social morals of their friends, family and neighbors.  Today, everyone else is “doing it” so why not?

#3.  People these days are more likely to change.   This is not just in regard to relationships, this is also true of jobs and homes too.  It is very rare to work for the same company for thirty years these days.  It’s very rare to stay married for thirty years too.  It’s a shift in society that encourages change as being a positive thing.

#4. People are more rude these days.  Are they really?  Yes, I believe so… and this affects relationships too.  In my home growing up cussing was something that we absolutely did not do!  Period!  If my mother heard even the smallest of curses come from my mouth- surely, soap was to follow.  These days, cursing is an acceptable form of speech for many.  People cuss in their relationships, name calling that would have been the ultimate sin years ago- is now just another form of communication.  The problem with this is that the words still mean the same thing.  Feelings are still hurt  and resentment builds.  As a society, women are shown yelling, pushing, screaming, cussing, hitting, name calling as much as men.  These socialized behaviors have not helped our relationships.

#5. People still think the grass is greener.  True to human nature, most people get disillusioned in their relationship and believe that they can find someone else much better for them if they dump the one they have.  While in some cases this is true, more often than not, the biggest problem person we all have in our lives is the one that stares back at us in the mirror every day.  People are not always willing to own their dysfunctional behaviors or beliefs and instead choose to blame the one they are with for the problems in the relationship.  Breaking up is often easier than dealing with yourself .

Norm:

The other day I was discussing with my wife the merits of arranged marriages. Do you believe in arranged marriages and if yes, why and if not, why not?

Jackie: 

I do not believe in arranged marriages- although I am respectful of the fact that many countries and religions continue this practice.  I do not believe that men or women should ever be forced into spending their lives with someone that does not serve their greater good.  By this I mean someone who they can love, shares beliefs, morals, ideas and goals.  Consider if we could not choose our own friends?  A husband or wife is meant to be your best friend… I would hate to have someone choose that person for me.    

Norm:

Why do you believe that a great number of men refuse to commit to a lasting relationship?

Jackie:

While I do believe marriage and family is in the best interest of society as a whole, I have never been convinced that men or women are truly meant to live monogamous lives.  That is, one partner for their entire adult lives.   As the single lifestyle and divorce continue to become more and more socially acceptable- men and women are less inclined to commit to lasting relationships.  Nature is taking over perhaps more than nurture these days!  

Norm:

Do you believe that before couples decide to live together that they should seek out advice from a counsellor to find out if they are really compatible with each other and that they have discussed important issues as commitment, marriage, children etc.?

Jackie: 

I think couples should absolutely seek advice from counsellors.  Often, an outsider to the relationship can give valuable input to a couple.  If more couples would take time before their relationship to discover differences and discuss how these differences are going to be dealt with, I think they would become less disillusioned in relationships and more realistic about working through these challenges.  Many couples miss out on the deepest love they can achieve because they give up before they truly work through tough issues. 

Norm:

How did you decide you were ready to write Meet Delaney, and how did you know when your book was finished?

Jackie: 

Writing Meet Delaney was a process for me.  While I wrote the book, I was living the single life, just like my main character.  In many ways, I wrote the book as I experienced life, as my friends experienced life and as I grew more and more into wanting to share these common experiences with others.  While Delaney is not 100% me, she is, in part- me and every other woman in America who has spent time being single.

Norm:

Could you briefly tell our readers something about Meet Delaney?

Jackie:

 Meet Delaney is a story of a twenty- nine year old woman who gets suddenly dumped by her “then love of her life” husband, Ryan.  After spending the majority of her twenties with one man, getting a divorce and becoming single again was a shock as well as a very sad time for Delaney.   Her story is one of grief, sadness, regret… followed by picking herself up, rediscovering her greatness, building wonderful friendships, being an awesome single “dog mom” and ultimately discovering the greatest love of her life… herself.   

Meet Delaney is a must read for anyone who has spent time being single.  Readers will laugh, cry and relate to almost every page of this book!

Norm:

Are experiences related in the book based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

Jackie:

 Yes, many experiences in the book are based on my own life or those of my friends.  For example, I really did go through a divorce at twenty nine and was devastated during the process.  I was also single for the next nine years and discovered the excitement of dating, the joy of falling in love again, the agony of on line dating and of course, the power within myself. 

The book is fiction, so of course, much of the book is also based on things I wish I would have done or could have done!   I wanted Delaney to be a very relatable character, and I believe she is.  Being a single woman these days is not easy!  There are many nights that are spent being lonely and wondering if you will ever meet someone to share your life with! 

Women in their thirties spend so much time on their careers that often relationships get put on the back burner and before you know it, the biological clock is ticking and you worry so much that maybe you will never have children either.   Single women have a lot of fun, but they also have a lot of deep feelings, some confusion and uncertainty and yet… hope too.   Delaney shares these feelings and thoughts.   She is a comfort to any single woman who may wonder if others feel the same way.

Norm:

What was the most difficult part of writing your book?

Jackie:

When the book came out, I was amazed at the way that people that I knew would look at me just a little bit “different”.  I think many assumed that it was my autobiography and were perhaps judgmental of some of Delaney’s activities in the book- assuming they were mine.   Some people really pressed me wanting to know what was true and what was made up.    

Norm

Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?

Jackie: 

Yes, I learned that single women want to be understood.  I had so much positive feedback from women who would say, “You could have written this about me.”   That was a huge compliment for me.  

Norm:

Do you hear from your readers much? What kinds of things do they say?

Jackie:

 Yes, thanks to my website  www.therelationshipwhisperer.com  my readers are able to connect with me very easily.  Mostly, I heard how relatable the book was.  Many readers loved the relationship that Delaney had with her dog.  People have told me that they felt great emotion while reading the book.  Many have said they laughed out loud or cried tears while reading it. 

One of my readers, who is married and was pregnant at the time, told me she almost had to put the book down at one part where Delaney has an affair with a married man.  She was so upset with Delaney that she did not want to continue reading.   To this, I said, “Thank you” because the fact that she was upset- told me that I had written the story well enough to evoke serious emotion.

Mostly, I heard that people enjoyed the book.  They couldn’t put it down, read it in one day, etc.

Norm:

It is said that writers should write what they know. Were there any elements of the book that forced you to step out of your comfort zone, and if so, how did you approach this part of the writing?

Jackie:

 Because I was single for so long- and the book is about a single woman, most of the book was written about things I do know.  I will tell you that there was a scene in the book when Delaney’s friend- Lindsay- gets taken by an on line relationship.  The girls plan revenge on this man and the story that follows was quite entertaining.  Nothing I would ever do in real life… as I would like to believe I am not a vengeful person… but for the book, it was fun to imagine. 

Norm:

Do you feel that writers, regardless of genre owe something to readers, if not, why not, if so, why and what would that be?

Jackie:

 Yes, writers owe readers an experience.  Readers should pick up any book and be someplace else, at least for that moment.   A writer should be able to help people escape into the world that they have created.

Norm:

Where can our readers find out more about you and your book?

Jackie:

 On my website which is www.therelationshipwhisperer.com  or www.jackiemahaney.com

I also host a web tv show called “Everyday Women” at www.womenwebtv.com

Norm:

What is next for Jackie Mahaney and is there anything else you wish to add that we have not covered?

Jackie:

 I am working on the sequel to Meet Delaney.  It is called “Single Girl” and this book goes into much more detail about Delaney and her friends- as well as all of their relationships.  It’s a lot of fun.  Right now, I have just completed the manuscript and am working with an editor. 

Thanks once again and good luck with all of your future endeavors.

 Click Here To Purchase Meet Delaney