The following interview with T.S. Bogorad was conducted by  NORM GOLDMAN:  Editor of Bookpleasures. CLICK TO VIEW  Norm Goldman's Reviews       

To read Norm's review of the Importance of Civility CLICK HERE

Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Bookpleasures.com is pleased to have as our
guest, Terry: Bogorad, author of The Importance of Civility.

Good day Terry: and thanks for participating in our interview.

Thank you for asking me.

Norm:

Why do you believe The Importance of Civility is an important book at this
time? What inspired you to write the book?

Terry:

It is important at this point in time because most people presently feel
there is something wrong in their community but they do not know what it is.
In my book I explain why people are feeling less connected to their
community. And my explanation is likely to cause people to start pay more
attention to the other members of their community.

Norm:

How did you come up with ideas for your book and can you give us an idea of
the kind of research did you do to write this book?

Terry:

Truthfully, my ideas sprang from one theory I developed over my life
time. That theory was that people, who got along with others or engaged in
civil social activity, seemed to be victimized less than people who found
reasons not to socialize with others. In others words, I noticed that
victims tended to lack social interaction skills.
Between May 2004 and June 2006, I considered between 1200 and 1500 sources,
of which I used about 400. To gain those sources, I combed the library of
William Paterson University, I used the university's internet library, I
frequented numerous book stores in New York City, in New Jersey, and in
Pennsylvania, I obtained over fifty books from Amazon.com, I obtained six
books on eBay, and I used the databases made available through the Wayne
Public Library. The majority of my sources are books and academic articles
written by psychologists, economists, anthropologists, and social
scientists.

Norm:

Did your education as a lawyer help you write the book and if so, how?

Terry:

Yes, my legal education helped me a great deal. It did so by forcing me
to organize my thoughts in a certain manner and by collecting answers for
all the issues related to civility. An example of what I am talking about is
my chapter on sharing. I included that chapter as it helps readers connect
to what I am trying to tell them. Everyone, even small children, understand
the concept of sharing. And in my book I basically convey that we share
information and pleasure when we socially interact as we are supposed to do.
Without my legal education, I may have skipped that idea because it seemed
so obvious to me.

Norm:

What obstacles did you encounter in writing your book?

Terry:

My greatest obstacle was the lack of reliable sources in the area of
social interaction. And my second greatest obstacle was that there were no
studies supporting my argument until Claire L Fox and Michael Boulden of
Great Britain published articles in December 2005 and June 2006.

Norm:

Do you believe that the importance of civility should be taught in our
schools and if so, how would you design such a course?

Terry:

I think that everyone needs to know how to effectively socially interact
in order to be civil. I think that we can all learn how to be civil. And I
think we should begin addressing social interaction skills in our schools
when children enter schools. However, because so many of us lack effective
skills, places to learn such skills need to be developed.
If I designed a course to teach civility, I would focus on what I call our
three Cs in that course. They are our choices, charm and chutzpah. And I
would make people aware of social interaction techniques. Those techniques
would allow people to learn to properly interpret cues, to learn from
observing others, and to clarify what they are saying and doing.

Norm:

How do we overcome ethnic and cultural differences that sometimes impede the
fostering of effective social interaction?

Terry:

We can overcome those differences by becoming willing to learn about
things we do not know and by laughing at our mistakes. Too often our
unwillingness to learn and to accept new information causes us to reject
other people. And our hesitance to laugh at our mistakes causes us to be
uncomfortable when we do try to learn about cultural differences.

Norm:

What are the important elements that comprise a socially thriving community?

Terry:

I think that there are many elements, which contribute to a thriving
social community. But there are four very important ones. Those are our
willingness to bond with others to keep our communities alive, our
willingness to laugh with each other, our ability to cooperate with each
other, and our gossiping to reduce crime and corruption within our
community. And by gossiping, I mean talking about problems within the
community, talking about misbehavior in order to lessen it, and passing on
solutions.

Norm:

In your book you mention that the philosophy of individualism impedes our
obligation to socially interact? Please elaborate.

Terry: 

Under the theory of individualism, a person strives to get whatever he
or she can out of life by doing the best job possible to obtain the greatest
economic gain. And by subscribing to that philosophy a person does not think
about his or her obligations to our community. In fact, our community is the
last thing a person thinks about.
Additionally, when our culture glorifies individualism, we no longer need to
socially interact with anyone who can not help us reach our goal.

Norm:

Why do you believe some people have a fear in social interacting or in
helping others? What are some of these fears?

Terry:

There are many reasons we fear interacting with others. Before I wrote
this book, I thought that the fear of rejection or the fear of lack of
acceptance was what caused people not to socially interact or help others.
But now, I think that we fear socially interacting with others because we do
not know how to effectively socially interact with others. And I think we
are afraid of making social mistakes and are afraid of wasting time by
helping people who will never help us.  Basically, it is our fear of using
our time for something that does not immediately benefit us keeps us from
interacting with each other.

Norm:

What has your experience been with self publishing? Do you recommend it over
traditional publishers?

Terry: 

My experience with self publishing was incredibly wonderful.  I worked
with very dedicated people, who wanted me to succeed. But I would only
recommend self publishing to people who are willing to work hard and to
cooperate with people who know the publishing business.
As far as recommending it over traditional publishers, I can not make a
recommendation because I never published a book with a traditional
publisher.

Norm:

How do you plan to market your book?

Terry:

My plan includes having my book discussed in newspapers, on radio shows,
and on television. It also includes placing ads in various magazines. But
should I start making money on my book, I will hire a publicist because
marketing is not an easy thing to do.
I would like to note that my plan is developing as planned because I was
interviewed by a newspaper reporter last week.

Norm:

Is there anything else you wish to ad that we have not covered?

Terry:

Yes, there are a few things I would like to add. I love writing. And
writing a book takes time, takes patience, and takes a willingness to delete
the extraneous. And to write a book, you need a topic that makes you feel
you want to share it with the world. I found my topic that I want to share
with the world. I just hope the world wants to read about civility as much
as I wanted to write about it.

Thanks once again and good luck with your book.